Goodbye Monsoon Summer Playlist

If you live in the Northeast like I do, you’re probably about as sick of this summer’s striking resemblance to monsoon season as I am. Meanwhile, the meteorologists are all giddy because they get to coin new terms like “gustnado” – small, concentrated tornados that quickly sweep down your street and drop trees on your house while you’re at Home Depot! Sound a little specific? Yeah, that might’ve actually happened to me. I think the meteorologists should just go back to tracking meteors like they did in the old days. I mean what happens when a meteor filled with radioactive alien goop suddenly drops in the ocean and creates a race of giant mutant seahorses while they're off tracking silly things like weather? Hmmm?

But I digress.

The point I had been trying to make: this summer’s weather has sucked. We’re all tired of waking up to gloomy gray skies and sideways rain. Well, I’ve got your solution right here. First, watch a peppy mindless beach movie. No, not Beach Blanket Bingo - I was thinking more along the lines of Psycho Beach Party. Second, I’ve whipped up a little soundtrack to remind us of brighter days. If played loud enough (around 11 on the volume dial should do), these songs may actually scare the clouds away. Just point those speakers right out the windows – the neighbors won’t mind the noise if this works. Let’s give it a shot, shall we…

1. “Rockaway Beach” – The Ramones
2. “Steal My Sunshine” – Len
3. “Ocean Size” – Jane’s Addiction
4. “Surfin’ Cow” – Dead Milkmen
5. “Summer Nights” - Less Than Jake (Yes, it’s a Grease cover)
6. “Porno Getaway” – Seventeen
7. “Island In The Sun” – Weezer
8. “Goin’ Crazy (From The Heat)” – David Lee Roth
9. “Sun King” – The Cult
10. “Badfish” - Sublime

Any other suggestions? You know where the comments section is, kids…

Link To The 2009 Oscar Winners List

Looking for a quick list of last night's winners? Just check out Variety's list here.

You're welcome.

Links To The Grammy Winners

Again, you know how I feel about dredging through search results just to find the list of winners. Well, here are two of the lists of Grammy winners. The first (click here) is a complete listing, right down to best Zydeco album - but it doesn't list what the other nominees in each category were. The second list (click here) is the short list of popular categories, but it does include the other nominees.

Quick thoughts:

-Why the hell Robert Plant & Alison Krauss took so many awards eludes me as much as why people still care about the Grammys as a whole. "Please Read The Letter" seemed like little more than a repetitive deep cut when I first heard it, and it got more annoying with time.

-I was happy to see that Metallica won the Metal Performance category ("My Apocalypse"), but I almost wonder if they just give the award to them every year now after the whole Jethro Tull debacle in 1989.

-I would have liked to see Rob Zombie win the Hard Rock Performance award ("Lords of Salem"), but such is life.

- I was happily surprised to see Zappa Plays Zappa take the award for Rock Instrumental Performance ("Peaches En Regalia").

Top Album Picks Of 2008 - Stylishly Late Or Laziness Embodied, You Be The Judge!

Okay, so I got caught up in reading everyone else's Best of '08 lists and forgot to post my own. Since nobody reads this thing anyway, I figured I'd just give you my opinions now - and I'm not trimming the thing down to 10, either. Luck be damned, we're going for the Top 13!

1. She & Him – Volume 1 – I’ve talked up this band before, but this pairing of the actress (Zooey Deschanel) and the hipster (M Ward) couldn’t be better. A mixture of timeless music, catchy rhythms and sweetly fractured vocals made this an utterly enjoyable album from beginning to end. Radio might’ve played the singles to death, but that doesn’t make “This Is Not A Test” or “Why Do You Let Me Stay Here” any less remarkable.

2. Foxboro Hot Tubs – Stop, Drop and Roll!!! – Yes, it’s the Green Day side project that had the vintage garage rock sound. Yes, a lot of the guitar and beats sound recycled. But the disc was still a ridiculous amount of fun, so stop your nitpicking.

3. Thao with The Get Down Stay Down – We Brave Bee Stings and All – Thao’s unusual vocal delivery and odd song structures made this one stand out from the pack. And the fact she’s a spitfire on stage doesn’t hurt. Whether singing about a "Bag of Hammers" or water safety ("Swimming Pool"), this offbeat chanteuse had me hooked.

4. Jenny Lewis – Acid Tongue – The headmistress for Rilo Kiley does another solo disc, this time without any assistance from The Watson Twins. And it looks like she does just fine on her own. Okay, sure, the backup from Elvis Costello on hit single “Carpetbaggers” certainly wasn’t a hindrance…

5. Gnarls Barkley – The Odd Couple – An odd coupling indeed, but one of the best musical collaborations we could have hoped for – rapper Cee-Lo and producer/multi-instrumentalist Danger Mouse mix old school funk and soul beats with electronica for a tasty stew. “Run” and “Going On” are the tracks that got beaten into the ground, but the ground was pretty happy about it in the long run.

6. Mindless Self Indulgence – If – (For the full review, check here.) These potty-mouthed, self-deprecating assholes just keep making me love them more. Their mix of punk and techno make their tales of limp penises (“Get It Up”) and Beatles killers (“Mark David Chapman”) oddly danceable. Don’t fight it!

7. Weezer – Weezer (better known as The Red Album) – What can you guess about a band that can release a single entitled “Pork and Beans” and have it become a huge hit? That they’re a bunch of silly-heads who know how to write a great guitar hook? Yeah, that’s a big part of it. But the fact that these alt-pop-punk rock weirdoes are still going strong keeps me (and quite a few Rivers Cuomo-philes) laughing at their wink-and-nod craziness. The fact that they’re experimenting with new songs on their sixth disc just makes them more interesting.

8. Ben Folds – Way To Normal – Okay, there’s the ever-familiar sound of Ben Folds singing while pounding those ivories. But you know what he unpacked this time out? Some new beats. Don’t believe me? Well, if you haven’t already picked up this disc, Exhibit A would be lead single “You Don’t Know Me” (featuring fantastic guest vocals from Regina Spektor) – vocal harmonies compounded by a funky backbeat and, well… great songwriting. Check it out, already!

9. Conor Oberst – Conor Oberst – A few years back, I would’ve told you I just didn’t get the attraction of the whole Bright Eyes phenomenon. Yeah, he was some kind of alt-folk- rock prodigy, pumping out the discs, but why should I care? But the more I listened, the more I liked. Suddenly, Oberst’s first solo disc is on my tops list – who knew? But with such an amazing collection of songs – including my fave “I Don’t Want To Die (In A Hospital)” and lead single “Sausalito” – I can no longer deny how dang cool he is...

10. Jesus H. Christ & the Four Hornsmen of the Apocalypse – Happier Than You – This 8-piece out of New York describe themselves as a “rock/pop/metal/psychedelic/ cabaret” band. However you classify them, though, they are amazingly talented musicians who have an absurdist sense of humor – and the mix blends surprisingly well. Whether singing odes to hot secretaries (“Liz The Hot Receptionist”) or listing off the local drunks (“Alcoholics In My Town”), the male/female vocal duo smashes through every notion you could have about them turning in any serious works – and you’ll love them all the more for it.

11. Flogging Molly – Float – These Irish-American punks conjure up another fantastically bawdy soundtrack to a drunken brawl. Although the subject matter takes a decidedly darker turn, the disc is still one of the most lively of 2008.

12. Ryan Adams and the Cardinals – Cardinology – What the… Only one album from the prolific Adams in 2008? Am I seeing that correctly. Wow. But what a disc, punctuated with the exclamation point of a single like “Fix It”. Now if we could just get Mr. Adams to stop TALKING about consummating his love for the Cardinals by taking his name out of the band title and actually doing it…

13. Metallica – Death Magnetic – Until the disc came out, I had big doubts. Let’s face it, James Hetfield had turned into little more than a heavy metal crooner, making it sound like some kind of horribly themed opera – and that way only leads to crap like Creed, my friends. But Death Magnetic was their way to thumb their nose at their critics and tell us how much they can still rock out with their hoohadilly out.

That's it for now. Care to share your favorites? You know where the comments section is. I'll be back later this week with part 2 of the winter TV premieres. Have fun 'til then!

Your Halloween Soundtrack

What're all my little fiends up to on this frightful evening - dressing up like good little boys and ghouls? Drinking punch out of a steaming cauldron? Standing at the graveyard entrance with a shotgun, just in case? Whatever your answer, here's a bit of music to get you in the mood:

1. “Halloween Head” – Ryan Adams
2. “The Creeps” – Social Distortion
3. “I Love The Dead” – Alice Cooper
4. “Living Dead Girl” – Rob Zombie
5. “The Surfin’ Dead” – The Cramps
6. “Season of the Witch” – Donovan
7. “Now I’m Feeling Zombiefied” – Alien Sex Fiend
8. “God of Thunder” – KISS
9. “Vampira” – The Misfits
10. “Bloodsucker” – Southern Culture On The Skids

Anything else I should have on the list? You know where the comments section is.

I've had a blast with the Halloween hijinks this month. Thanks again to Virtual Stranger and Doctor Dan for helping out, and Dave Perillo for being kind enough to let me use his artwork. Now daddy needs a nap...

Top 10 Zombie Comedies

So, you like your disembowelings with a side of slapstick (whether intentional or not)? This is the list for you...

1. Shaun of the Dead – It’s rare to find a movie that could just as easily be a classic comedy as it might qualify as a horror flick. But Simon Pegg’s UK import does just that. It has some of the funniest onscreen moments in years (the bit when they’re trying to kill the zombies with old LPs was brilliant), and yet they don’t spare the blood and gore when it’s necessary. By far the best of this sub-genre.
2. Return of the Living Dead – Classic one-liners like “Your brain smells so rich and spicy!” and “Send more paramedics!” make this graveyard bash a classic.
3. Evil Dead 2 – Horror purists will deny this as a true zombie movie. “They’re technically people possessed by Candarian demons”, they’ll exclaim from their mother’s basement. But when your girlfriend’s head gets chopped off and she still comes back to visit – demonic possession or not, I’d call that a zombie. And the fact that Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi took their cues from old Three Stooges bits makes this a comic masterpiece as well.
4. Fido – Ah, the story of a boy and his zombie. If a zombie outbreak happened in Pleasantville (or during a rerun of Lassie), this might be what it would look like. ‘50s family values, soda shoppes and disemboweling – a romp the whole family can enjoy!
5. Grindhouse: Planet Terror – Robert Rodriguez’s half of this double-bill of horror kitsch has just the right mix of dripping goo and over-the-top action. And Rose McGowen with a machine gun leg. I kid you not.
6. Idle Hands – Yes, the overall plot centers around a demonically possessed hand. But when the two sidekicks (including the comedic talents of Seth Green) return as zombies, I’d say that qualifies it. Add in the fact that it’s hilarious and features a young Jessica Alba and it just had to make the list.
7. Dead Alive – Those of you who think they know all there is to know about Peter Jackson might want to check this early effort from the Hobbit-meister. Infectious rat monkeys. Killing zombies with a lawnmower. Horribly cheesy effects. You’ll either pretend you never saw it or gain a different level of respect for the man.
8. ZA: Zombies Anonymous – “What do we want? Brains! When do we want them? Now!” In this version of the zombie mythos, they’re just trying to rise above their undead status and just fit in. Now if it wasn’t for that pesky craving for human flesh…
9. Zombie Strippers – The two-word title may very well be enough reason to check this out. Add in two icons from both ends of the B movie spectrum, Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund, and you may NEED to see this one. Unless you don’t like naked ladies and good old-fashioned gore all in one package. But you’re reading a list of Zombie Comedies, so we’ll assume you’re onboard.
10. The Mad – MMMM…Truck stop zombies. Now with 75% more Billy Zane!

Honorable Mention: Weekend At Bernie's 2 - That's right Bernie was a zombie in this one. The scary part is that it's not a joke...

So what did I forget? That's what the comments are for, kids. And my list-mania will continue - next up: Horror Comic Favorites.

A Link To The Emmy Winners

If there's anything I hate, it's sorting through a bunch of web results just to get a quick list of winners after an awards show - so here's a quick link to the Emmy winners from last night's show - just click here.

As for commentary - I didn't actually watch the program. Mainly because I know that I'd get grumpy when the very few genre shows that I like that even got NOMINATED were overlooked for more generic fare. Ah well - at least Pushing Daisies won for Comedy Directing, and I do loves me some Tina Fey and Jon Stewart...

Your Labor Day Soundtrack

This is it, people - the last big hurrah of summer. The kids are dreading going back to school and whining, Grampa Joe won't put out that damn cigar and your drunk cousin Lenny just hit you in the back of the head with a water balloon filled with questionable liquid. Just remember this - if you're the one grilling the food, who's to say that the 30 second rule for a dropped burger can't hit the 2 minute marker. So what if there's an acorn in Aunt Margaret's chili dog? We've got a day off from work to CELEBRATE, dadgummit, so live it up!

You know what helps? Music. So here's some themed songs to get things rolling:

1. "Labor Day (It's A Holiday)" - The Black Eyed Peas
2. "At My Job" - Dead Kennedys
3. "What Do You Do For Money Honey" - AC/DC
4. "(I Don't Want To Work) Bang The Drum All Day" - Todd Rundgren
5. "Minimum Wage" - They Might Be Giants
6. "She Works Hard For The Money" - Donna Summer
7. "Take This Job And Shove It" - David Allan Coe (or the more upbeat cover by Dead Kennedys)
8. "Takin' Care Of Business" - Bachman Turner Overdrive
9. "Working For The Man" - The Vandals
10. "(Working On A) Chain Gang" - Sam Cooke

If you need more themed music, just break into anything from Workingman's Dead - that should cover it. So what else did I forget? Leave any suggestions in the coments, kids...

Your Independence Day Soundtrack

Here's some music to listen to while your grillmaster cooks up your hot dogs - songs about freedom and liberty and overpriced gas (okay, none on that last topic... yet)! So fire up the iPod/boombox/8-Track and try not to watch while your "special" cousin Timmy attempts to set off a bottle rocket while holding it with his butt cheeks. Enjoy!

1. "Independence Day" - Elliott Smith
2. "Firecracker" - Ryan Adams
3. "This Land Is Your Land" - Woody Guthrie (with an appropriately feisty live cover by Tom Morello, playing as The Nightwatchman)
4. "Fourth of July" - X
5. "Free" - The Soup Dragons
6. "U.S. Blues" - The Grateful Dead
7. "Star Spangled Banner" - Jimi Hendrix
8. "Freedom of Choice" - Devo
9. "American Girl" - Tom Petty
10. "Live Free" - Son Volt

So what did I forget? Post it in the comments, kids...

Your Friday The 13th Soundtrack

Hi all - here's some music to accompany this special day. There are songs about superstition and bad luck and homages to machete-wielding maniacs - something for everyone. Enjoy!

1. "Superstition" - Stevie Wonder (with an appropriately creepy cover by Megadeth)
2. "Paranoid" - Black Sabbath
3. "Psycho Therapy" - Ramones
4. "He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask)" - Alice Cooper
5. "Born Under A Bad Sign" - Albert King (covered by Cream)
6. "Just Got Wicked" - Cold
7. "Bad Luck" - Social Distortion
8. "Pass The Hatchet" - Southern Culture On The Skids
9. "Scream!" - The Misfits
10. "Bad Luck Blue Eyes Goodbye" - The Black Crowes
11. "Break My Body" - Pixies
12. "The Curse" - Devil Dolls
13. "Drain The Blood" - The Distillers

That's all for now - did I forget any songs? You know where the comments section is...