Top Album Picks Of 2008 - Stylishly Late Or Laziness Embodied, You Be The Judge!

Okay, so I got caught up in reading everyone else's Best of '08 lists and forgot to post my own. Since nobody reads this thing anyway, I figured I'd just give you my opinions now - and I'm not trimming the thing down to 10, either. Luck be damned, we're going for the Top 13!

1. She & Him – Volume 1 – I’ve talked up this band before, but this pairing of the actress (Zooey Deschanel) and the hipster (M Ward) couldn’t be better. A mixture of timeless music, catchy rhythms and sweetly fractured vocals made this an utterly enjoyable album from beginning to end. Radio might’ve played the singles to death, but that doesn’t make “This Is Not A Test” or “Why Do You Let Me Stay Here” any less remarkable.

2. Foxboro Hot Tubs – Stop, Drop and Roll!!! – Yes, it’s the Green Day side project that had the vintage garage rock sound. Yes, a lot of the guitar and beats sound recycled. But the disc was still a ridiculous amount of fun, so stop your nitpicking.

3. Thao with The Get Down Stay Down – We Brave Bee Stings and All – Thao’s unusual vocal delivery and odd song structures made this one stand out from the pack. And the fact she’s a spitfire on stage doesn’t hurt. Whether singing about a "Bag of Hammers" or water safety ("Swimming Pool"), this offbeat chanteuse had me hooked.

4. Jenny Lewis – Acid Tongue – The headmistress for Rilo Kiley does another solo disc, this time without any assistance from The Watson Twins. And it looks like she does just fine on her own. Okay, sure, the backup from Elvis Costello on hit single “Carpetbaggers” certainly wasn’t a hindrance…

5. Gnarls Barkley – The Odd Couple – An odd coupling indeed, but one of the best musical collaborations we could have hoped for – rapper Cee-Lo and producer/multi-instrumentalist Danger Mouse mix old school funk and soul beats with electronica for a tasty stew. “Run” and “Going On” are the tracks that got beaten into the ground, but the ground was pretty happy about it in the long run.

6. Mindless Self Indulgence – If – (For the full review, check here.) These potty-mouthed, self-deprecating assholes just keep making me love them more. Their mix of punk and techno make their tales of limp penises (“Get It Up”) and Beatles killers (“Mark David Chapman”) oddly danceable. Don’t fight it!

7. Weezer – Weezer (better known as The Red Album) – What can you guess about a band that can release a single entitled “Pork and Beans” and have it become a huge hit? That they’re a bunch of silly-heads who know how to write a great guitar hook? Yeah, that’s a big part of it. But the fact that these alt-pop-punk rock weirdoes are still going strong keeps me (and quite a few Rivers Cuomo-philes) laughing at their wink-and-nod craziness. The fact that they’re experimenting with new songs on their sixth disc just makes them more interesting.

8. Ben Folds – Way To Normal – Okay, there’s the ever-familiar sound of Ben Folds singing while pounding those ivories. But you know what he unpacked this time out? Some new beats. Don’t believe me? Well, if you haven’t already picked up this disc, Exhibit A would be lead single “You Don’t Know Me” (featuring fantastic guest vocals from Regina Spektor) – vocal harmonies compounded by a funky backbeat and, well… great songwriting. Check it out, already!

9. Conor Oberst – Conor Oberst – A few years back, I would’ve told you I just didn’t get the attraction of the whole Bright Eyes phenomenon. Yeah, he was some kind of alt-folk- rock prodigy, pumping out the discs, but why should I care? But the more I listened, the more I liked. Suddenly, Oberst’s first solo disc is on my tops list – who knew? But with such an amazing collection of songs – including my fave “I Don’t Want To Die (In A Hospital)” and lead single “Sausalito” – I can no longer deny how dang cool he is...

10. Jesus H. Christ & the Four Hornsmen of the Apocalypse – Happier Than You – This 8-piece out of New York describe themselves as a “rock/pop/metal/psychedelic/ cabaret” band. However you classify them, though, they are amazingly talented musicians who have an absurdist sense of humor – and the mix blends surprisingly well. Whether singing odes to hot secretaries (“Liz The Hot Receptionist”) or listing off the local drunks (“Alcoholics In My Town”), the male/female vocal duo smashes through every notion you could have about them turning in any serious works – and you’ll love them all the more for it.

11. Flogging Molly – Float – These Irish-American punks conjure up another fantastically bawdy soundtrack to a drunken brawl. Although the subject matter takes a decidedly darker turn, the disc is still one of the most lively of 2008.

12. Ryan Adams and the Cardinals – Cardinology – What the… Only one album from the prolific Adams in 2008? Am I seeing that correctly. Wow. But what a disc, punctuated with the exclamation point of a single like “Fix It”. Now if we could just get Mr. Adams to stop TALKING about consummating his love for the Cardinals by taking his name out of the band title and actually doing it…

13. Metallica – Death Magnetic – Until the disc came out, I had big doubts. Let’s face it, James Hetfield had turned into little more than a heavy metal crooner, making it sound like some kind of horribly themed opera – and that way only leads to crap like Creed, my friends. But Death Magnetic was their way to thumb their nose at their critics and tell us how much they can still rock out with their hoohadilly out.

That's it for now. Care to share your favorites? You know where the comments section is. I'll be back later this week with part 2 of the winter TV premieres. Have fun 'til then!

Top 10 (Worst) Vacation Spots

Who needs the Triple A vacation guide? I've got some suggestions that are simply TO DIE FOR!

1. Downtown Tokyo – You may think it’s just good ironic fun going to Tokyo sporting a giant camera around your neck and wearing a Gilligan hat – but it’s anybody’s guess whether you’ll actually make it out alive. Let’s just say if you feel the ground start shaking and someone’s screaming “Gojira!”, you might want to keep moving – and AWAY from the tanks, people. Really, the only people who have any business downtown are giant shoe salesmen – and even they might want to keep away from trying to unload those snakeskin shoes (Godzooky’s been missing for month’s, and his Uncle isn’t in a playful mood…)

2. Crystal Lake – Wanted: happy campers to occupy Camp Crystal Lake (Friday The 13th) next summer, after extensive renovations. Strong swimmers, telekinetics and teenagers with no libidos are needed for camp counselors. Seriously – no sex allowed, or there will be consequences. The mother of one of the former campers has extreme prejudice on that matter. Activities include: scenic runs in the woods, target practice, wilderness survival and interpretive jazz lessons. NO HOCKEY ALLOWED.

3. Castle Rock, Maine - Once you get past the huge rabid dogs (Cujo), the collectibles shop that trades in souls (Needful Things), and the occasional vacationing novelist with extreme bipolar issues (The Dark Half), Stephen King's favorite mythical city still has lots to offer anyone with a death wish. And it's less than an hour's drive from either beautiful downtown Derry or the rustic charm of Jerusalem's Lot.

4. Sunnydale, CA – Where does the nightlife never end? Most people will answer with “NYC”, but this little Southern Cali town (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) may just surprise you. The Bronze is the local hot spot, and the internationally popular band Dingoes Ate My Baby (they’re HUGE in Japan) got their start playing there. Granted, the explosion of the High School a few years back scared some folks, but now people are flocking to town! And the boom in nighttime dentistry has been nothing short of amazing. The specialty of incisor sharpening seems odd, but the kids do like their messy hickeys. And be sure to check out The Magic Box for the biggest assortment of New Age remedies you’ve ever seen. (Reports of attacks by giant dogs, reptile men and blue-skinned “demons” are absurd, so just ignore them and follow the Zagat guide’s recommendations for fine cuisine…)

5. Springwood, Ohio – And talk about a city that never sleeps (Nightmare on Elm Street) - there used to be a huge run on No-Doz but now that Red Bull is in fashion, everyone’s got wings! Mr. Frederick Krueger is the local sensation – he seems to have gotten under the skin of more than one of the kids around town. The parents don’t like that idea, but I’m pretty sure they were quick to judge Elvis’ pelvis and we know how that turned out! Just watch out, kids – he’ll rip your heart out if you get too attached. They say there’s plenty of Freddy to go around, but somebody’s bound to get hurt…

6. Raccoon City - Ignoring the fact that most of the people living here have already sold their souls to the Umbrella Corporation, a corporate overlord that makes you long for morally-responsible companies like Exxon, Haliburton, or Chase, there's also the matter of the walking dead (Resident Evil). Yes, just breathing the air in Raccoon City puts the odds on you coming back as a zombie. If you actually get bitten, you'll be lucky if you come back as a zombie and not something only vaguely recognizable as a former human being. On the plus side, at least one hot European woman is known to spend most of her time there... killing anything that moves.

7. Haddonfield, Illinois – Ah, the Fall in Haddonfield (Halloween)… There’s cider donuts, entire streets lined with Jack O’Lanterns and the apple picking – don’t get me started! For the rag-tag parade though, you’ll never beat the Myers family – most of them like the “bloody corpse” theme a little too much, but you should see how cute Michael looked as a clown one year. And did you know that Druids might have actually colonized this area at the turn of the century? Of course, most folks will gloss over that in the tour brochures…

8. Rural Texas – Some people come from miles around to view the old mansions, but they’re all in decay. The real attraction is the local roadside BBQ (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) – the most tender meat you’ll ever taste. What’s the secret? Little Tommy Hewitt only accepts the best cuts, but he’ll never tell what’s in the sauce! It’s a family recipe handed down from Grampa. Trust me, you’ll be screaming about it…

9. Perfection, Nevada – You’ve played the video games, you’ve read the comics and you’ve seen the pictures – but have you seen a Graboid (Tremors) in person? I thought not. These giant underground worms can be a hell of an adversary, but Safari Jack Sawyer knows how to keep you safe! For a small fee, Jack will show you the Graboids in their natural habitat and ensure you don’t get eaten alive. As a parting gift, you can even buy a stuffed Shrieker (Graboid morphs/offspring) for the kids – how cute!

10. Fairvale, CA - If you’re going to visit, there’s no better place to stay than the Bates Motel (Psycho). It’s a quaint little strip motel that harkens back to easier times – an era of black-and-white movies at the drive-in, close-knit nuclear families and malted milk shakes at the soda shoppe. What are the perks? Well, the proprietor will cook you dinner, the ice machine is always full and the water pressure is excellent – plus, there are free taxidermy classes. (Ignore the one-star rating from Marion_1960 on the web site – the peephole has been plugged up and the shower curtains have all been replaced, so don’t let that deter you!)

Remember - the economy doesn't have to slow down your travel itinerary! For no cost at all, I'm pretty sure most of these places would love to have you for dinner...