Monday, December 29, 2008

Take The Buffy Quiz - And Feel As Stupid As I Do!

Okay Buffy fans, I know you think you've got all the answers - so try this quiz on for size. We stumbled across it this weekend (it's on the Parade.com web site), and I came out looking like a chump. But really, who knew that Oz's favorite dog food was Chuck Wagon?

Let me know how you do, kids - and keep track of your correct answers since it doesn't do it for you...

(The quiz might be a "limited-time-only" deal - so if the link doesn't work, they might have taken it down.)

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Good Grief, Chuck - It's Christmas!

A Merry Christmas to all! Who's excited about dinner with the in-laws? With any luck, Aunt Madge will be too sauced on cooking sherry to ask if you're trying to break your mother's heart by not having kids or if you're just infertile - that was enough fun last year, right? Plus, cousin Timmy usually does something emergency room worthy, so that should take some pressure off... yup, he's trying to smooch Fluffy (the homicidal kitty) under the mistletoe, so the ambulance should be here within the hour.

Till then, you've got some time to kill - why not try these holiday-themed spectaculars? Just a few things I've seen recently that made me chuckle... or at very least made me happy that it wasn't another Rankin Bass special.

1. A Wish For Wings That Work (Bloom County Christmas) - This one flew (forgive the pun) under the radar when it came out in 1991, and is the only animated tale from Bloom County, home of Opus the Penguin and Bill the Cat. Whether or not you enjoyed the comic strip, the sight of a group therapy circle featuring a pig who thinks he's a rhinoceros should be enough to make you snort Nog out your nose. (YouTube, of course, has it here.)

2. The Big Bang Theory - The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis - This episode of the increasingly charming series featured one of the most hilarious scenes I've ever witnessed. Sheldon (played by the Emmy-worthy Jim Parsons) has become one of the best characters to ever grace the small screen, and his reaction to Penny's gift is tears-streaming funny. (For a look at that final exchange, check YouTube here.)

3. The Pogues (and Kirsty MacColl) - "Fairytale of New York" - An alternative Christmas classic! What's your favorite part? Holidays in the drunk tank? Or Yuletide sentimentality like "You're a bum/You're a punk/You're an old slut on junk"? Oh, or the rotting Irish teeth?! (Whatever your favorite part, check out the vid on YouTube.)

4. A Very Supernatural Christmas (Supernatural, season 3 episode) - Ah, Christmas with the Winchester boys. Candy canes, gingerbread houses and... ah, there it is - the Anti-Santa swooping down the chimney for a festive slaying. From the start of the episode, complete with the classic 1970's swirling neon "SPECIAL" sign straight out of some lousy variety show, this one gave a sly nod-and-a-wink to viewers who were paying attention - including a version of "Silent Night" by Sam & Dean (which, I guess is only truly funny when you know that the lead characters are named Sam and Dean, but now you know...). (YouTube seekers, check here.)

5. Robert Earl Keen - "Merry Christmas From The Family" - Ah, now here's the man who put the fun in dysfunctional. Every gathering should be as amusingly sketchy! (YouTube it here.)

So you say you're drunk and that damn ambulance still isn't there? You may be ready for the bonus round:

6. Star Wars Holiday Special - Ah, nostalgia. This may be the worst thing you'll ever see - but on its 30th anniversary, it may just be time to revisit this piece of space garbage. The worst of all worlds: the 70's variety special (complete with Harvey Korman and Bea Arthur) and the TV/movie crossover. Chewbacca goes home to visit his family, hijinks ensue. The only redeeming quality might have been the Boba Fett cartoon in the middle, but I may have just been hallucinating by that point. (Check it out for yourself on YouTube here.)

Okay, Timmy's trying to take the bandages off and cousin Lily is burning Barbie's hair in the fire - you better go. But have a great one, and I'll have more for you soon. Ho Ho Ho!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Drunk On Nog - Your Christmas Soundtrack


Since Thanksgiving, you’ve been bombarded with Christmas songs that you’ve heard approximately a bazillion times (yes, that’s a precise unit of measure – don’t question it!). If you’re like me, you’re ready to rip your ears off in defiance, but you’ve still got the office party this Friday and the neighbors’ all-inclusive Christmakwanzukkahstice celebration on Saturday. So, what do you do about that pesky music? Juano’s got you covered, never fear. Of course, you may have to knock out the DJ with a giant ornamental candy cane to get these tunes on – but that shouldn’t be a problem, right? Some of these songs are classics, some are humorous ditties and others will get you put on the “Naughty” list for life. But it’s worth that lump of coal – plus, I know some of you have had a spanking on your X-Mas list, so there’s the whole two-birds-one-stoner outlook. Enough buildup, here’s the goodies:

1. “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues
2. “Christmas” – Blues Traveler
3. “Run, Run Rudolph” – Chuck Berry
4. “There Ain’t No Sanity Clause” – The Damned
5. “Twelve Days Of Christmas” – Bob & Doug McKenzie
6. “Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis” – Tom Waits
7. “Christmas Katie” – Widespread Panic
8. “Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy” – David Bowie & Bing Crosby
9. “I Almost Met Santa Claus” – Marc Amendola
10. “Christmas Night of Zombies” - MXPX
11. “Swiss Colony Beef Log” – Eric Cartman (South Park)
12. “Merry Christmas From The Family” – Robert Earl Keen (there’s also a great cover by Jill Sobule)
13. “Christmas In Hollis” – Run DMC
14. “Santa Has A Mullet” – Nerf Herder
15. “Cool Yule” – Louis Armstrong
16. “I’m Having Santa For Christmas” – Lustra
17. “Santa and His Old Lady” – Cheech and Chong
18. “Christmas At The Zoo” – Flaming Lips
19. “My First Christmas As A Woman” – The Vandals
20. “Oi To The World” – No Doubt (Vandals cover)
21 “The Christians and the Pagans” – Dar Williams
22. “Christmas Wrapping” – The Waitresses
23. “Bizarre Christmas Incident” – Ben Folds
24. “My Christmas List” – Simple Plan
25. “Christmas In The Slammer” – The Swallows

You need more holiday tunes? Try these albums for more:

1. Just Can’t Get Enough: New Wave Christmas
2. You Sleigh Me!
3. Just Say Noel (Geffen Records)
4. Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics (South Park)
5. Christmas Caravan – Squirrel Nut Zippers
6. A Christmas Album – Bright Eyes
7. Lump of Coal
8. The Ultimate Christmas Collection - Brian Setzer
9. A Magical Christmas of Magic - Harry and the Potters
10. The Mother of All Flagpole Christmas Albums

Have a blast, kids! Just watch out for your cousin Tony's Eggnog - he makes it with Rum and lighter fluid...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Come Play With Treefort - A Western Mass Cult Favorite

Have you ever gone to a show and felt like you were cheating on the headliner because you secretly liked the opener a little better? It happens, there’s nothing to be ashamed of - I’m guilty of it myself. A few years back at Harry’s/The Elevens (Northampton, MA) I went to a Fancy Trash show, and these Treefort guys were opening. It was self-deprecating rock, alt-country twang and some of the finest humor you could hope for. The next thing you knew, I was up and dancing (okay, bobbing my head, let’s not get too carried away here – everyone knows I’ve got no rhythm) and singing along with their call-and-response classic “Your Best Friend”. I bought the Girls Allowed CD after their set, and that was it – I was hooked.

Okay, so you’re a music whore, we get it. Who are these guys and why should we care? Wow, harsh. Slightly true, but still. These guys have been around since ’95, and if you’re from the Western Mass area you’ve probably seen their name on more than a few flyers. Paul Hansbury (vocals/guitar) founded the band with local legend Matt Hebert (Ware River Club, Haunt), who played drums at the time. They were joined by Mark Turcotte on bass and Bob Hennessy on lead guitar, and after Mr. Hebert left the band in ’99 he was replaced by Joe O’Rourke, drummer extraordinaire. And since then, aside from a number of fill-ins at various shows and some regular guests along the way (such as the vocal talent of Marcia Bergeron), that’s been the core foursome. As to why you should care – you may not believe it, kids, but Treefort actually put the “hoot” in “hootenanny” (if you don’t buy it, I bet I can put it up on Wikipedia, then you’d have to believe it. Right?).

So, Girls Allowed is their first disc – isn’t that the one with the gross can of baked beans on the cover? My girlfriend retches whenever she sees it in Turn It Up!, but should I give it a listen? Darn tootin’ you should. I’ll admit that, to some, Hansbury’s raw vocal style can be an acquired taste. But my best friend summed it up best when talking about another unusual crooner, this Bob Dylan fella: “You either get it or you don’t. I get it.” And once you open up to it, the album becomes a veritable playground of well-crafted songwriting (like “House”, increasing tempo with each verse, starting slow and bulding to a fevered pitch by the finale), self-deprecating wit (“Wimbledon” spells out how “My name will never be engraved upon the Stanley Cup/I’ll never figure out the pick and roll” but “I do come to play”) and absurdist humor (“Idi Amin Dada” tells the story of the Ugandan dictator from the viewpoint of his children: “Idi Amin was our Dada/Somebody gunned him down” and shares his cannibalistic diet tips: “Legs and arms and vegetables/Our meals all came complete”). Their mix of humor, emotion and deft musicianship spotlights the truly rare thing with this disc - that they’ve found the balance that most bands could only dream of. You see, most groups either thrive onstage OR on disc. It’s unusual to see a band as spirited as Treefort is live be able to carry that energy into the studio - but damn if they don’t pull it off. No overpolished, overly produced tripe - just a portrait of a band having fun.

Okay, okay - I’ll give it a go. Do they have any other discs I could check out? A second album called Talking To The Dogs is in the can, and everything I’ve heard from it so far has been equally entertaining. Early artwork from the disc features original paintings by Hansbury, and the cover art can actually be seen hanging in the background of the picture on the back of Girls Allowed. For more on the fate of the CD, I asked Paul Hansbury and Joe O’Rourke for some input:
Paul: Talking To The Dogs will arrive suddenly, without fanfare, and not on any scheduled campaign. When it is manufactured, it will likely contain many “label” links – but it will ultimately reside in boxes around my garage and cellar, as the first album does.
Joe: We recorded the disc back in ’04, but never released it. Maybe someday. We just love to get together and play – no one has any time to deal with releasing a disc. Sad but true.
Paul: And I live 100 miles away from Bob, Joe, Marcia and Mark now. Since 2004. When we manage to rehearse prior to a show, we usually are able to add a song or two – but often we must do the shows sans rehearsal. As long as we’ve been around, since ’95, we have never been about the typical rock band bullshit. As long as the other guys want to keep doing it, so will I.

Well, if they’re not putting out the new disc yet, how else can I make these guys prove themselves? Do you think they’d be up for some carnie-type test of their worth? Like fighting the wolf-faced boy in a cage match? Keep your pants on junior – how about we start with a live show? Yes, they don’t play as much as the old days now that they’re a bit geographically challenged – they alternate shows between the Basement (Northampton, MA) and the Brass Cat (Easthampton, MA). But you’re in luck, because they’re playing at the Basement this Friday night (December 12th) at 10 pm. If you’re from the area, the Basement is across the street from the Iron Horse and around back – in the old Table 9/Mulino’s building. Matt Hebert will play a solo opening set, then Treefort promises at least two sets and the possibility of a holiday classic. Come see the boys hang 20 years of sorrow and sarcasm on two guitars, bass, drums and “Look ma, no hands!” recklessness. Girls allowed.

For the most up-to-date info on Treefort, check out their MySpace page. And come show them some love on Friday night...
(A big thanks to Paul Hansbury and Joe O'Rourke for helping me put this together.)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

No New Posts Since Turkey Day! Who's Writing This Thing?!

What the... this thing doesn't just write itself? Whoops...

No zombie invasion to blame my absence on this time. No aliens abducting me and probing my nethers either. So who's to blame? I'm gonna go with this kid:


It's true, kicking the undead's butt took a back seat to viewing cutie-patootie baby-types this week. I'm the pseudo-uncle (meaning I, as my parents like to say, am "living in sin" with the ACTUAL auntie) of this little bundle.

So I took another break, what, you wanna cry about it? I'll be back this week, and gearing up for the holidays to come. I've scheduled lists galore, plus we've got some fun local bands to talk about. First up will be Treefort, who just happen to be playing at The Basement in Northampton, MA on Friday night (the 12th).

So just keep your Lederhosen on a little longer, kids. We'll be back with new programming shortly...