Red Stylo & Hellcat Press Are Having Open Comic Anthology Submissions!

Okay, all you aspiring comic book creators - now's your time to shine! There are two comic anthologies in the works right now, and they're looking for submissions from you. One is going to be filled with stories about a very specific rock club, while the other will be tales of horror crafted by all female creators - and both have the potential to be utterly fantastic books! So how do you get involved, you ask? Keep your pants on, kids...all will be revealed below:

27: A Comic Anthology by Red Stylo Media

This antho will contain stories based on rock'n'roll's famous "27 Club". What's that? Well, it's not half of Studio 54, if that's what you were thinking. The 27 Club isn't actually a place at all, but rather a group of rock legends. It's all spelled out pretty clearly on the submissions page, and here's a snippet to give you the background:

Stars burn hot, bright and then go out forever, but their light shines on for ages after. Members of the “27 Club” reached musical stardom early in life and died too young– specifically, the tender age of 27. Some of the club’s more famous members include Jim Morrison (The Doors), Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain (Nirvana), and Amy Winehouse.

This new book is following hot on the heels of Red Stylo's previous anthology, Killer Queen - which very lovingly collected tales based on Queen and Freddie Mercury. This proves that they know how to be reverent to the real-life musicians who provide the muse for the stories, yet create a brand new landscape for them to play in. Red Stylo have also allowed creators the opportunity to explore the worlds of Shakespeare (Shakespeare Shaken), Edgar Allan Poe (Poe Twisted) and Frankenstein (Unfashioned Creatures). I can't wait to see what they come up with for this book!

The deadline is Februray 15th. I'm providing the submissions link below and, as usual, you should read the guidelines fully. That said...go make some comics:

http://redstylo.com/2015/01/01/open-call-for-27-a-new-anthology-from-red-stylo/
 
And be sure to "like" Red Stylo's Facebook page to keep updated on all their news.

Dark Lady by Hellcat Press

Founded in 2014, Hellcat Press may be fairly new to the scene - but that doesn't mean they're unfamiliar with comic anthologies. Co-founder Lindsay Moore has had stories featured in the first three volumes of the horror antho Hellbound (published by River Bird Comics, a Boston Comics Roundtable production). Her passion for the project has me convinced this is going to be one to keep an eye on. And the cute pictures of kitties on the Hellcat web site certainly didn't hurt...

What's the skinny on the book itself? Lindsay sent me the following to give you the basics:

Hellcat Press is on a mission: to produce a horror comic anthology by October 2015. We are currently accepting submissions for our premier, all-female horror anthology, “Dark Lady.” If you are a woman with a horror story to tell, then Hellcat Press wants to hear it! For more details, please see:

http://hellcatpress.com/hellcat/submissions/
 

Far left: art from "Dolly" by Lindsay Moore & Alex Cormack. Far right: art from "Garbage" by Lindsay Moore &     Donna Peters-Martinez with Joey Peters

The deadline is February 1st - and again, make sure to completely read the submission guidelines. This one is pretty self-explanatory on the "all-female" portion of things. So, guys - just wait for the next sign-up, okay? Be sure to check out the rest of the web site while you're there, and give the Hellcat Press Facebook page a like while you're at it!

That's all we've got for now, folks! When the books are finished, hopefully we'll have a more in-depth look on Strange Kids Club...

Blood & Gourd: Bringing The Fun Back To Horror Comics

You know what has always been at the top of my comic pull list to read every week? Not the big superhero spectacle, not an artsy black & white crime noir book, not the smartly written sci-fi epic. No, it's usually a ridiculous horror romp. You know the one - with monsters rampaging and people running in terror. It reminds me of simpler times, of the eighties... where the hair was big, the movies were craptastic and men in rubber suits created our nightmares.

And now I've found a book that promises to return horror to a time when it was still fun - Blood & Gourd. These guys have a tale of terror that they've been dying to tell for years now, and it's very close to becoming a reality. Their Indiegogo campaign to fund the book ends tomorrow (Jan. 19th) at midnight PST , and they're OH so close to their goal. The writers (Jenz Lund and DH Shultis) took time out of their schedule to bring their inspiration - the monstrous Gourdfather himself - here for ol' Doc Curdle to interview. This can only end horribly...so let's get this circus underway:

Doctor Curdle/Zombie Zone News: So, what're you - some kind of Pumpkin King? I'm pretty sure I've made pies out of your minions before.

The Gourdfather/Blood & Gourd: When in sorrow you think of dark autumn days, full of rain, you think of me. I walk the sodden pasture lane and am the bareness of a withered blood-slicked tree. I, desolate and linen grey, clinging with mist and rot, carry the light of hell in my face while the hatred of damned souls writhes within my vines.  The sturdy seedling with arched body comes, shouldering its way past crumbling wet earth.  I move in savage shade and darkness with bitterness and dread.

DC/ZZN: Ooookay (Doc pulls the pumpkin guts and seeds that were released from the Gourdfather during his rant off of his face)...seriously, though - why should I care about a pumpkin deity who could probably be taken down by Linus and his wooby? I mean, I bet they're in your patch waiting for you right now...

GF/BaG: The leaves are all dead, the scraping and creeping of my vines is un-ending.  The wall, unmended, has broken down at last. I seek the aching drift of all things within the tillings of your city’s razing. I whisper from the lowest chambers and open your hearts to doubt. Those of you not asleep will mark the creeping cold and shed the hope of day. You will dress your fear in blood and have your death by gourd.

DC/ZZN: Okay, RELAX...let's talk about your book. Why are Jenz, DH and Dave the ones to tell your tale?

GF/BaG: I told them so, at last, to beg and be beholden. I spoke to them of horror and those asleep in pretty dreams of zombie money and shimmering faces. I looked for them in scarce times and fixed thier gazes to my creation. Things aren’t what they used to be, nothing else would do to quell the entropic boredom death of all things horror. I needed vessels who could shun the bland sameness behind the wallowing corporate art of sparkling vampires and pornographic gore. I demanded servants who could brush aside the dirt of dull zombies. Jenz K. Lund and DH Shultis heard my call and drew me from my seed to hasten your fiery end.

DC/ZZN:  .....

I can't work with this guy. Ask a simple question, get a villainous monologue. Squee, get Surfin' Dead in here! Maybe he can get something out of the writer nerds.

Surfin' Dead/Zombie Zone News: What the f... Doc! You said you could handle this on your own!

DC/ZZN: To be fair, I wasn't expecting to be covered in pumpkin sputum. Which I am. Would you like me to share some with you so you can get a feel for what the interview has been like so far?

SD/ZZN: Ugh, get that slime away from me! Sorry guys, let's hit the reset button here. Jenz, DH - where did the original concept come from, and how did it evolve?

Jenz Lund/Blood & Gourd: The story seemed to come to life on its own. It started as a short, low budget movie script about kids on skateboards fighting off pumpkin headed people with baseball bats. It wasn’t long until we realized we didn’t have the time or the budget to pull it off. I thought I came up with a simple solution: let’s make it a comic book! Here we are three years later.

DH Shultis/Blood & Gourd: The concept started on two fronts: the characters and the monsters. After Jenz told me his idea for the pumpkin monsters, we had a ton of fun developing the concept into a rich lore and a whole new world of horror. The characters came to life in a similar way. We knew we wanted to make our characters real, three dimensional people who were up against something horrible and shocking. The interplay of diverse real people and otherworldly nightmarish creatures became, for me, the heart of the script. 

SD/ZZN: How did you come together, and where has your artist - Dave Acosta - been hiding?

JL/BaG: DH and I met in graduate school. I remember being on a big John Waters kick at the time and striking up a conversation about him. It turned out that we shared an appreciation for good horror and smart, satirical, junkfood cinema. We attended an annual hororr film festival in Olympia called All Freakin’ Night, and by sunrise, we knew we wanted to work together. I have no idea where Dave Acosta’s been hiding, we’re just lucky he let us find him.

DH/BaG: When Jenz and I started working together it was a way to keep writing and to keep our artistic blood flowing.  The project helped us create and sustain a meaningful friendship. It was the fun of it all that kept us working together and kept the project going. Our writing sessions were part work and part good fun. We take pleasure in making each other laugh and cringe at the same time.  Acosta was a real gem of a find. We have only started working with him recently, and hope to continue to do so. We’ve been impressed with his art- and with his ability to interpret the script into some stunning art.

SD/ZZN: How grand of a scope is there for the story of B & G? Is there one definitive beginning and end, or is there wiggle room for some offshoots along the way?

JL/BaG: We’ve always loved the Marvel and DC universe concept. We have the story written in three acts, but there’s a ton of room for growth. Not for the sake of milking it like The Hobbit movies, but to branch out the world. We don’t want to give too much away, but perpetual Samhain stops time itself, leaving everybody trapped in night that never seems to end. Time really isn’t an issue at that point.

DH/BaG: The story we want to tell with Blood and Gourd has a definite three act structure.  It’s fast, wild, and comes to an epic conclusion. That being said, we’ve created a rich and full universe around the story- one that could be harvested for all kinds of offshoots and spin-offs. We wanted to tell an exciting story that leaves the reader wanting more. We’d love to be able to tell more tales from this universe, and we think readers would like those stories as well.

SD/ZZN: Do you see this becoming a print book, or could there at least be a collection down the road if things take off?

JL/BaG: It’s been our dream since day one to hold a print copy of Blood & Gourd in our hands. We want something a kid can read under the covers with a flashlight. We’ll be doing a limited run of promotional, printed comics sometime in May. A signed copy is one of the funding perks on our Indiegogo campaign. We hope to have a collection together by next Halloween.

DH/BaG: Yes. Oh, yes. Blood & Gourd will be a printed comic book someday soon.

SD/ZZN: What are a few pieces of classic horror that really spoke to you and influenced the creation of B & G?

JL/BaG: EC Comics, Eerie and Creepy magazines, Mars Attacks trading cards, movies like Creepshow, The Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Creeps, and (the original) Dawn of the Dead. Of course, Stephen King and HP Lovecraft have their slime-dripping, bloody tendrils all over this thing too. It also stems from a dissatisfaction with the state of modern horror. Horror needs more than torture-porn, monster romance, and the grim, grey world of survival zombie stories.

DH/BaG: Tales from the Crypt, The Twilight Zone, MST3K, and some creepy flicks like Psycho, not to mention the real classics of horror with Bella Lugosi and Vincent Price. Along with the movies and writers Jenz mentions, a lot of my writing queues come from the sci-fi greats: Asimov, Phillip K. Dick, Heilein, and H.G Wells.  Comic book wise, I’m a huge Batman fan and love Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns.    

SD/ZZN: Are there any current comics, or particular writers and artists, that you follow and draw inspiration from?

JL/BaG: Eric Powell is a national treasure and I love Neil Gaiman to death.

DH/BaG: Robert Kirkman is a must mention. I have recently started following Dirk Manning, and really like his approach to writing comic books.

SD/ZZN: As new comic creators, what have been some of your learning curve moments so far?

JL/BaG: Somebody once told me that you may get those first, five pages done, but good luck with the last five. A great, dependable artist is hard to find and worth every penny. Also, I was more of a control freak intitally. Now I let the artist draw from the script their own interpretation, we make some tweaks collaboratively, and we’re good to go. It seems to work really well. Promotion is a pain in the ass! There’s a sea of really loud people out there and it takes all your energy to keep pounding away. You better really love what you're doing or you’ll run away screaming. Hell, you might anyway.

DH/BaG: Dude. I feel like I’m working on a graduate degree in comic book creation.  The last five months have been especially full of learning moments.  Successfully taking a product from cradle to market is not an easy task. My clearest learning moments have happened while talking with comic book store owners. These guys had seen their share of would-be creators fail and stall out mid-project. Jenz and I have managed to make sure our project survived long enough to get past the stage where most people seem to give up.  

SD/ZZN: With some great penciled pages and new art coming at a quick pace now, do you see yourselves hitting the convention circuit this year?

JL/BaG: That’s the plan. Our stretch goals on the Indiegogo campaign will focus on coloring the first 30 pages and getting us on our way.

DH/BaG: One of my life goals is to sit at a comic book convention with some posters and a few print copies of this comic book.  I feel like we’ll hit a few conventions this year, and may be real tour rats in 2015. 

SD/ZZN: What would be the band/song/album to provide the soundtrack for your Gourdpocalypse?

JL/BaG: I write characters and scenes based on certain songs and/or bands I love. If Blood & Gourd were a movie, the title sequences would kick off with Cecilia Ann by The Pixies. I’d definitely throw some Zero Boys, Bad Brains, Stooges, CSS, Cramps, Black Flag, Fugazi, Melvins, Minor Threat, The Replacements, Young Evils, The Blow, Santigold, Sonics, and since it takes place in Olympia, WA – some K and Kill Rockstars shit too. Blood & Gourd is very much an angsty, fun, punk rock comic book.

DH/BaG: The Venn Diagram of Jenz’s and my musical taste would have some overlap- and some non-overlap. For me, the soundtrack is The Misfits (Glenn Danzig), Whorehouse of Representatives, "Zulu Death Mask" by Deadbolt, with some Mojo Nixon for travelling music.  The Reverend Horton Heat might be playing at the farm when it all starts happening. The dark moments of the night would be set to Metallica’s “Call of Cthulu” or some weird droning Mogwai track.

SD/ZZN: Thanks so much for answering our questions!

And be sure to check out the Blood & Gourd Indiegogo page soon, 'cause tomorrow at midnight PST *poof* you're out of time!
Blood & Gourd Indiegogo page
Blood & Gourd on Facebook
Blood & Gourd on Twitter

And if you want to check out more of my insanity:
My posts as "Surfin' Dead" on Zombie Zone News
Surfin' Dead on Facebook
Surfin' Dead on Twitter

Top Horror Comics

This one doen't need much of an intro, so let's just jump right in...

1. Flinch (DC/Vertigo) – One of the best horror anthology series I have ever read. It only lasted sixteen issues, but it became a classic in my mind. Unfortunately, FINDING this one is the problem – there were no trade paperbacks published, as far as I can tell…
2. Walking Dead (Image) – Most of you know that I have a soft spot in my heart for a good zombie apocalypse story. And this one from Robert Kirkman hasn’t disappointed – except for, y’know, killing off a lot of characters we had grown to love.
3. Tales From The Crypt (EC Comics) – Possibly the most well recognized horror anthology series of all time. I strongly suggest checking out the beautifully reprinted hardbound volumes that have been put out in the last few years.
4. Werewolf By Night (Marvel) – Poor Jack Russell – born to a father who had the werewolf curse and a mother who was a powerful witch. Over the years, Jack learned to control the wolf, and teamed up with many heroes of the Marvel universe – including the first appearance of Moon Knight in issue #29.
5. Ghost Rider (Marvel) – Ah, Johhny Blaze - all he ever wanted was to keep his stepfather alive. So he bargained with Mephisto, his stepfather still died and now you could toast a marshmallow on the kid’s head. (MMMM, demonic marshmallows – sacrilicious!) The kid’s not a good haggler…
6. Swamp Thing (DC/Vertigo) – Don't judge by the movie - the comic was spinning horror yarns for years before the other jolly green giant made it to the screen. And in the second volume of Swamp Thing, we saw the seminal works of writer Alan Moore and artist Stephen Bissette on some of the creepiest tales you’ll ever read. Oh, and this book introduced this fine British fellow from our next entry…
7. Hellblazer (DC/Vertigo) – John Constantine is one of the best comic characters to ever grace a pulpy page – he’s the Johnny Rotten of the occult world. The book has been up and down, storywise, over the years (depending on the writer). But at its best, it was beyond brilliant. The Garth Ennis years were by far the best – I’d suggest the “Dangerous Habits” trade paperback for those of you looking for a starting point.
8. Hellboy/B.P.R.D. (Dark Horse) – The big red guy never had an ongoing series, but an heir to a throne in Hell with a soft spot for kitties can do what he likes. His buddies in the BPRD, Abe Sapien, Liz Sherman and Johann Krauss among others, eventually rated their own spin-off sans Hellboy.
9. House of Mystery (DC) – This one started out as a horror anthology. But with the advent of the “Comics Code Authority” in the mid-1950s, supernatural themes were banned topics for comics, so superheroes took the limelight for a while. Luckily, in ’68 EC Comics vet Joe Orlando took over editorial duties and was allowed to bring the book back to its roots.
10. Tomb of Dracula (Marvel) – This is another book that benefited from the Comics Code loosening its collective sphincter about the horror topic. Dracula served as supervillain to many Marvel heroes over the years, but this was his time to shine. Just not in direct daylight.
11. Terror, Inc. (Marvel) – The hitman with the heart of Gold – hope Gold wasn’t using it. You see, Terror looked like a zombie with catfish whiskers, and he could replace any missing “parts” with assorted limbs from his victims. But he never replaced the “I Love Ringo” tattoo – I won’t tell you where he kept that.
12. The Goon (Dark Horse) – A muscle-bound mob enforcer (who secretly runs the whole shebang) with a wide-eyed midget sidekick in a town overrun with zombie scum. And did I mention it’s a heap of silly fun? Eric Powell writes and provides art with his signature style.
13. 30 Days Of Night (IDW) – The movie was good, but a bit of a disappointment. You just can’t replicate Ben Templesmith’s artwork in the real world – the distortions, elongations and wonderfully jagged edges work especially well in the realm of vampires. And Steve Niles’ demented storytelling introduced us to the horribly cursed luck of Barrow, Alaska, and the smorgasbord it becomes…
14. Marvel Zombies (Marvel) – First appearing in issues of Ultimate Fantastic Four written by Mark Millar, we were introduced to a parallel Earth where all the Marvel heroes had been turned into zombies. Eventually, zombie maestro Robert Kirkman wrote the first two mini-series focusing on this dark (and oddly amusing) universe. Magneto saves people, Avengers eat people and people…should probably just run.
15. Zombie Tales (Boom! Studios) – A horror anthology with my favorite theme!
16. The Astounding Wolf-Man (Image) – Robert Kirkman does it again, this time turning a werewolf into a cursed superhero with a vampire mentor. Fantastic twists and turns make this a new book worth keeping an eye on, 'cause our heroes luck isn't getting any better.
17. Perhapanauts (Dark Horse then Image) – What would happen if you put Bigfoot and a chupacabra through an Evolvo-Ray? Big would get genius-level smart, and Choopie would get…let’s just say he can talk. Put them together with a psychic, a cute-as-a-button ghost and a brooding character in sunglasses with an oh-so-secret past and you have the team lineup for the Perhapanauts. They save the world from inter-dimensional interlopers – and try to keep Choopie out of trouble.
18. Proof (Image) – So, Bigfoot leads this team too. But in this reality, he’s named Proof (John Prufrock). He works for a clandestine organization called The Lodge, who seek out Cryptid activity worldwide. They provide sanctuary to most of the creatures, keeping them safe from ignorant humans – and often, keeping people from getting eaten.
19. Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse (IDW) – (Not to be confused with Garth Ennis’ Wormwood on Avatar Press) Ben Templesmith’s Wormwood is a cadaver with a sense of style. But the style depends on the cadaver he’s possessing at the time. You see, he’s a kind of worm that can possess the deceased, residing in their brainpan – and sometimes peeking out through the eye socket. What a cute little bugger. He’s got the crotchety charm of John Constantine and the disgusting look of that brain slug from Star Trak II.
20. Doomed (IDW) – Another great horror anthology, presented in old school black-and-white magazine format – complete with non-glossy, pulp pages. And the painted covers were a beautiful addition.
21. Hack/Slash (Devil’s Due Publishing) – So, you like your horror stories with a little bit of cheesecake shake – who doesn’t? Cassie Hack is a tough little goth cutie who hunts down the things of your nightmares while striking seductive poses. Sounds silly doesn’t it? But the book is loads of fun, and the monster action is nonstop.
22. Zombies: Feast (IDW) – This is the first mini-series of IDW’s Zombies franchise. What if the zombie outbreak happened while you were transporting a busload of prisoners? Would you trust them to help you, or would you leave them to rot? You might get more answers than you were looking for in this tale…
23. The Living Corpse (Zenescope Entertainment) – A very cartoonish looking book, but incredibly fun. The corpse is our hero, and we follow his adventures as he guards our world from all sorts of undead evil, only pausing occasionally to nosh on some brains. But I’m sure they’re evil brains…
24. The Demon (DC) – Always a popular villain in the DCU, Jack Kirby created this bastard of rhyme. Bound to the human Jason Blood, the demon Etrigan was originally summoned by Merlin to defend Camelot. He eventually warranted his own series, which ended with a fantastic run by Garth Ennis and John McCrea. Some people couldn’t get past the rhyming dialogue – but I’d pretty much read a rewrite of the phone book if it was done by Ennis, so I’m biased. And let’s not forget that Ennis and McCrea created the loveable/despicable character of Tommy Monaghan in these pages, the title character from the hysterical Hitman series.

25. Cal McDonald minis (Dark Horse/IDW) –Cal McDonald is Steve Niles’ American equivalent of John Constantine. Bad suits, equally bad luck, tousled hair and a scent that reeks of day-old vomit - just what you want in an antihero! The character started as a series of shorts from Dark Horse, moved to the big league world of pulp novels, then back to comics with Criminal Macabre: A Cal McDonald Mystery, and has kept his feet rooted in the comics world since. His assorted mini-series eventually pulled up stakes and moved to IDW publishing in recent years.

That's all she wrote for now. Next up: The Halloween soundtrack!

The Middleman: Quite Possibly The Best Summer Show…Ever

There aren’t many shows that can gracefully walk the line between utter brilliance and absolute cheesy-ness. I think the part that allows the former quality to shine through is that they embrace the latter cheese factor like they were slow-dancing with a Gouda wheel.

Mmmmm… Gouda.

What’s the premise for this Swiss Colony cheese log? Wendy Watson (played by Natalie Morales) is a cute young artist who’s been temping to make the rent - until an accident at her gig for A.N.D. Labs (“Rescrambling your DNA, how can I direct your call?”) resulted in a hundred-eyed blob that tried to kill her, that is. When faced with danger, you either run screaming or try to stab the blob with a letter opener. Any guesses which choice Wendy Watson made? That’s right, our heroine has what The Middleman (played by Matt Keeslar) would refer to as “moxy”. And after helping to save Wendy’s bacon, Middleman went through channels to offer her a job as his apprentice.

So what the frak IS a Middleman? You’re basically looking at a crime-fighting comic book-type hero - complete with Eisenhower jacket and all sorts of nifty gadgets. There is always one in service with another in training. The current model is a milk-swilling (“Mmmm…That’s good cow squirt!”), no-cursing (“Not a gosh darn chance in heck!”), square-jawed, hair-pomade-wearing do-gooder. In the Middleman’s service is Ida, an android in the guise of a cranky librarian with atrocious fashion sense – but she’s always got the info you need in a pinch.

How does this whole thing work – is MM super-rich like Bruce Wayne, or is it more like a spy-movie meets Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. kinda thing? Don’t make me hose you down fanboy, I’m getting to all of that. I think Middleman summed it up best when he was explaining it to Wendy: “I got recruited, the exact same way you did. When the last Middleman hired me, he never said and I never asked. Ida was already there, so were all the weapons and gadgets and things. Sometimes a box comes in with more weapons and gadgets and things. I don't know where they come from; they just do. Maybe Ida runs the show, maybe it's the conspiracy. Maybe it's God. I'm just The Middleman.” They winkingly refer to their agency as O2STK or “Organization Too Secret To Know”.

So, Wendy gets inducted into this secret cabal and her life gets erased I bet! Never to be seen by friends and family again – she probably gets her fingerprints erased with acid, too! Man, you guys need to get out of your basement more. Dubbie (as Wendy is nicknamed by MM) pretty much keeps her normal life, in fact fueling her painting with the wacky hijinks she gets into at work. She lives in a studio apartment with her best friend Lacey, a vegetarian performance artist and animal activist – and love interest for Middleman (she might be a bit interested as well – she’s been known to refer to him as Wendy’s “sexy bossman” or “pillow lips”). Also living in Wendy’s building is Noser, generally seen in the hallway with a guitar. He’s quick with a quip, and usually addresses you with a song lyric. An average exchange?:

Noser: Yo, Wendy Watson.

Wendy: Hey, Noser.

Noser: Who's the Man?

WW: That would be Shaft, Noser.

Noser: What kind of man?

WW: A complicated man.

Noser: And who understands him?

WW: No one but his woman.

Noser: Right on.

Noser has also been known to kick some ass at “Stump The Band” – which consists of someone in the audience yelling out a song title and Noser responding with “Yup, I know that”… Add in Tyler (a love interest for Dubbie - with a twist), an evil son-of-a-landlord (Shut your mouth!) named Pip, a master sensei in a Luchadore mask and a revolving rogues gallery and you’ve got the basic idea.

This doesn’t sound THAT campy so far. I mean, wasn’t it based on some silly comic book, too? Yes, there were three Middleman comics mini-series published by Viper Comics, written by Javier Grillo-Marxuach and illustrated by Les McClaine. And the tone was smarmy in the comic, so imagine what it sounds like coming out of the mouths of real people – I can tell you, it pretty much sounds like Kevin Smith writing lightning-fast dialogue for superheroes on acid. And as for the camp factor? I’ll give you five reasons this show is dripping with cheese, and yet you’ll still lap up every drop:

1. A Super-intelligent ape starts running the local mafia (as a bonus, the name of the local mob hangout, Il Mutande Grandissimo, loosely translates to “the really big underpants”).
2. An intergalactic boy band (Varsity Fan Club) spreads mayhem – and horrible music – across the universe.
3. Kevin Sorbo (yes, Hercules) plays a Middleman put in cryo-sleep in the ‘60s. And he’s a cocktail-drinking, smooth-talking lothario, baby!
4. Flesh-eating zombies that want to eat your…Trout?!
5. Two words: Vampire. Puppet.

So what’s the catch? And why haven’t I heard more about this show if it’s so good? The only catch is that there’s only one episode left in the first season, airing tomorrow night (Monday, Sept. 1st) at 10pm on ABC Family. The real problem is that if people don’t catch on to how great MM is, this could be the ONLY new episode we ever get. So get caught up on the story – the episodes are available on iTunes, and I’m sure you can find them through more –ahem- questionable methods elsewhere. Then tell everyone you know to tell everyone they know. Then tell them to give ABC Family feedback on the show here. Or take Javier Grillo-Marxuach’s mild suggestion to prompt renewal, as can be read here. And again, WATCH THE EPISODES! Then you too can:

Delight! To the zany antics of our cadre of heroes...

Fear! The men in rubber masks trying to take over the world...

Pee A Little! As you laugh at brilliantly insane dialogue...

Still can’t get enough? Read the Middleman comics, all in one nifty package – click here for more info from Amazon.com.

Then come back tomorrow for the Labor Day song list, kids! Peace and geese for now…