Axl Rose Bought You All A Dr Pepper, America!

So, do you remember my tirade about Guns'n'Roses' decade-in-the-making album Chinese Democracy? Well, what I didn't mention was that way back in March, a Dr Pepper spokesperson bet that Axl wouldn't put the disc out this year. The wager: a can of Dr Pepper to everyone in America if Democracy was released by the end of the calendar year. And seeing as the CD is out tomorrow (November 23rd) , either this was the best free advertising campaign that Dr Pepper has ever had, or someone who shot his mouth off is getting his ass fired.

Either way, you can get your coupon for your free schwag by visiting the Dr Pepper web site. The catch: it's only available for 24 hours starting at midnight on the 23rd. And you have to register with Dr Pepper.com to take part in the promotion. And you have to pat your head and rub your tummy while typing with your nose. And something about your first born. But dangit, I want to be a Pepper too!

So, thanks Axl - and whatever kooky band members you're currently calling GNR. And remember, the reason the disc is coming out on a Sunday is so that you can observe the Holy Sabbath of Axl. Kneel before Rose, America! He got you a free soft drink, so be gracious acolytes...

The End Of Times Is Nigh: Chinese Democracy To Be Released

And lo, God did look upon Axl’s cornrows, and he saw the folly of man. He sent a plague of frogs upon Axl, and still did Chinese Democracy proceed. And Lucifer sent a demon adorned with a KFC bucket to infiltrate Axl’s band, but he was cast out - and still the album continued. What power has the man named Rose, to rise up against the powers of Gods and Devils alike? Is this the beginning of the End?

Nah, I’m guessing that he’s just a giant freak.

Yes, the long-gestating Chinese Democracy disc from “Guns’N’Roses” is finally going to see light (it drops on November 23rd). The band lineup has changed so many times that Axl had to install a revolving door on the studio, though - so who knows what we’re going to get. Will the final result be worth it? Probably not. Will most of us still get it, even if it’s just to satisfy our morbid curiosity? I’m sad to say that I need to hear it. What will disappoint Axl in the long run is that his former groupies may need a crowbar to fit into their old spandex...