The Best of Fall TV - Part 7 (Friday Nights)

I’ve got to say it again – check out Life on NBC tonight. Its premiere on Monday was both creepy and funny, and Charlie Crews is one of the best protagonists on TV. Anyway, on to the rest of the Friday night picks…

1. The Ex List (CBS) – (Starts Tonight) Intriguing premise: woman goes to a psychic, who tells her that she has already dated her one true love, and if she doesn’t marry him within the next year she is doomed to the single life forever. The problem for this as a weekly TV series: how many guys did this girl date? If we’re looking for this to be an ongoing story, with one guy per episode at an average of 20-22 episodes per network TV season…

2. Ghost Whisperer (CBS) – (Starts tonight) The show’s been on for years, so I’m assuming you know the basic plot – if not, the title’s pretty self-explanatory. What’s new, though? The fact that Melinda may soon be doing some of that special whispering with her hubbie (Jim) has the internet buzzing and CBS trying to calm fans down…

3. Secret Saturdays (Cartoon Network) – (Starts Tonight) Yes, it’s a primetime cartoon. And why the Saturdays are on the tube on Fridays… No answers for you there. So what’s it about? Well, Doc, Drew and Zak Saturday are a family of world-saving scientists called "The Secret Saturdays". They search out all the legendary “things that go bump in the night”, trying to keep humanity (and the monsters) safe. They travel the world, from ancient temples to the darkest caves – sometimes battling villains the likes of V.V. Argost, who uses his TV show (Weird World) to mask his nefarious plans. This is all set against the backdrop of your everyday family squabbles – just from an extraordinary family…

4. Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network) – (Starts tonight) Set between Episodes II and III, all the major players are back – just in a CGI animated kind of way. The problem I had with this whole project was twofold. First, they released the premiere for this theatrically – I understand the money-making machine that is Star Wars, but was that really necessary? My second issue is that the movie didn’t get released on DVD before the show started. It’s not that I worry about missing plotlines, but from a marketing perspective it seems a bit odd. I’m not expecting great things from this show – I’m slightly jaded from the (lack of) storytelling in Episodes I-III. But George Lucas has had me in his thrall since the seventies, so I can’t turn away now. And who knows, maybe I’ll be as pleasantly surprised as I was when the Clone Wars shorts done by Genndy Tartakovsky (Samurai Jack, Dexter’s Lab) were on a few years ago. I remain hopeful – talk to me after I’ve watched it…

That’s it for now, kids – this weekend, I’ll be unveiling my plans for world domination. Or at the very least, plans for my horror in October crossover event. Stay tuned…

The Best Of Fall TV - Part 5 (Tuesday Nights)

Okay, so I’ve been slacking on the Tuesday TV schedule – so let’s jump in and get through this quick and easy, like pulling off a Band-aid…

1. Fringe (Fox) – (Started September 9th) J.J. Abrams seems to have a pattern for picking his leads: one cute female (relatively unknown) and one attractive male, preferably from some kind of show that had a teenybopper audience – possibly add in a dash of comic relief to spice things up. In this show, the hot mama in question is Anna Torv (playing FBI Agent Olivia Dunham), the hunkey man-type is Joshua Jackson (formerly of Dawson’s Creek fame – playing super-smart Peter Bishop) and John Noble (playing Dr. Walter Bishop – Peter’s father, also ridiculously intelligent, and nutty as a squirrel turd – thus the comic relief). (If you’re wondering what the parallels are, in LOST their counterparts would be Evangeline Lilly, Matthew Fox (previously of Party of Five) and Jorge Garcia (Hurley – not wicked smaht, but equally funny.)) What you’ve missed so far: melting people on a plane, rapidly aging serial killers and psychic lab experiments – oh, and they pulled the eye out of a corpse to do… oh, I forget, but it was pretty gross. What could sink this show? Right now, Fox is actually doing a pretty decent job promoting Fringe, so they’re not a problem – yet. But if they don’t let Olivia get over her dead ex soon and start to crack a smile? Even the crazytown antics of Dr. Bishop won’t be enough to lighten the mood after a while. We need levity injected into a show with such a serious backstory. Final words: the shadowy conspiracy in this mythology series has a name: The Pattern. Oooooh, the evil pattern. Is it the government? The scary corporate scientists? Needlework designs fom Hell? I’ll never tell - XOXO.

2. The Mentalist (CBS) – (Started September 23rd) Patrick Jane works as an independent detective who uses his honed observation skills to assist law enforcement in solving crimes. Add a spunky sidekick in the pharmaceutical biz, a spunky female cop as a love interest and a head detective nicknamed Lassie? Yeah, isn’t this already a show on USA called Psych? Oh, but this one isn’t supposed to be funny? Okay. Worth checking out, but if you have to choose between this and House – not sure how many will tune in…

3. House (Fox) – (Started September 16th) So, Dr. Wilson may or may not blame House for the death of his girlfriend – but he definitely doesn’t want to be friends anymore, so he’s moved away. A character replacement that seems to be working oddly well? The private detective House hired to get background dirt on his patients – oh, and he hired him to spy on Wilson, but that’s really no surprise. And yes, the new team is still intact (Foreman, Thirteen, that guy from Harold & Kumar and the cranky ex-plastic surgeon). Also still going strong – the weekly lumbar puncture, House’s crankiness/general insanity and a steady increase in the amount of gross and gooey procedures. Bottom line: if you don’t know how good House is by now, we may need a psych consult – or another L.P. just to be safe…

4. The Shield (FX) – (Started September 2nd) Whether or not you agree with Vic Mackey’s strongarm politics, he’s always gotten the job done. Granted, he might’ve burnt some people’s faces off along the way, and maybe he stole a truckload of money from the Russian mob – nobody’s perfect. The thing to remember about this show, though? This is one of the cable network successes that proved that original scripted programs could exist beyond the major networks. AND they could be just as edgy as anything on HBO or Showtime. So give this show some love – it’s the final season, and I’m betting they don’t bow out quietly.

5. Eli Stone (ABC) – (Starts October 14th) A mid-season replacement from last year that came out with a success story – a pickup for season 2! And there are few shows as deserving – the quirky dramedy about a lawyer whose George Michael-centric hallucinations turn him into a modern-day prophet is funny, well written and populated with a fantastic cast. Jump on board when it starts up again – I’m sure the “Previously On” voiceover guy will tell you anything you missed – just a hunch.

See you soon for more – but not much more, we’re almost caught up. Again, for the full premiere grid go here.

The Best Of Fall TV – Part 2 (Wednesday Nights)

Okay, on to the Wednesday shows…

Hold on, what the hell happened to the Tuesday shows?
Ummmm… would you believe that the zombie hordes came back and I had to fight them off again? No? Okay, I overslept yesterday – I promise to get back to it soon. Are we okay?
Yeah, but don’t let it happen again. I was sitting in front of the TV all Tuesday night with no idea what to watch, and now my head hurts. But I do like that commercial with the monkey washing the cat!
Who doesn’t? Listen, I’m sorry I broke your brain, but we’ve GOT to move on…

New Shows – Wednesdays Are Slim Pickings

1. Knight Rider (NBC) – Oh boy! A talking car again! Mommy, can we please watch this show?! Yeah, they’ve resurrected another old show on NBC – I guess they didn’t learn from the poorly handled debacle that was The Bionic Woman. From what I hear, though, the Knight Rider TV movie that aired earlier this year (and served as a back-door pilot – tee-hee, that sounds naughty) was very well-received – thus the new show. Still a talking car show, however you cut it. I’m still holding out for that long-delayed crossover remake of Diff’rent Strokes and The A-Team, with Gary Coleman in full Mr. T costume – “What you talkin’ ‘bout, Fool?!”

2. Gary Unmarried (CBS) – Am I mad that Jay Mohr abandoned his comic relief post on Ghost Whisperer? Sure. Am I willing to overlook that slight if this lets him live up to his comic potential? Certainly. I just worry that no show will ever allow him the freedom to be the hilarious a-hole that he was in Action (available on DVD) with his mentor, Buddy Hackett. At any rate, THIS show focuses on Gary as he deals with trying to balance his old life (his ex-wife and two kids from a 15-year marriage) and his new girlfriend. Sound familiar? Yeah, it’s basically New Adventures of Old Christine if the lead was male, add one child. I’m counting on Mohr to spice that up – plus, I’ve had a little crush on Paula Marshall (who plays Gary's ex) since the original version of Cupid hit TV in ‘98…
(*Side note – you do know that Rob Thomas, the genius behind Veronica Mars, is revamping Cupid as a midseason show, right? No, Jeremy Piven will not be back to reprise the title role, but did I mention Rob Thomas?! Fan-frakkin’-tastic news – that might even tide us over ‘til the Veronica Mars movie…)

3. Do Not Disturb (Fox) – I’m just saying that this show is new – I’m NOT endorsing it. Granted, all I saw was a leaked pre-season pilot, but it was B-A-D spells lousy. Ritzy hotel with skinny model-types at the front desk in uncomfortable-yet-sexy attire and high heels, while people in the support department downstairs want to work upstairs - yet might be too “large” to meet requirements. That ongoing battle creates hijinks, and supposedly, hilarity will ensue. Did I mention that Jerry O’Connell was in this wreck – he hasn’t picked an appropriate vehicle since he stepped through his last wormhole in Sliders, so if that says anything…

Old Standards

1. Bones (Fox) – I’m not a huge fan of procedurals, but the fact that I rush home to watch this show should speak volumes. Funny and dark, this show pairs the investigative talents of the FBI – specifically, agent Seeley Both (played by the phenomenal David Boreanaz) – with those of the “squints” at the Jeffersonian Institution in Washington D.C. – led by Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan (played by the lovely Emily Deschanel – yes, Zooey is her sister). Each week, a fairly gross set of bones is found, and the team sets about investigating – generally with a great deal of internal bickering, simmering sexual tension and outright slapstick comedy. And the fact that Boreanaz broke the mold of the dark-and-brooding vampire from his years playing Angel (on both Buffy and his eponymous spin-off) to portray this light-hearted, smiling character is a testament to his abilities, and to the show’s writers. The truth is, Bones has accumulated one of the finest ensemble casts in TV. Luck, coincidence, perfection – call it what you will. Just watch, though – things just seem to keep getting better…

2. Criminal Minds (CBS) – I know, I know – I said I don’t love procedurals, yet I’ve lumped two together in one section for one night. Sue me, I’m fickle! First off, don’t believe anything you read in USA Today – they’re infamous for bashing this show, saying that it’s too dark and violent. Well, for those of us who LIKE the darkness? Let’s not forget that it’s just entertainment, kids. Another fantastic cast, although not quite as amazing since swapping out Mandy Patinkin for Joe Mantegna as team leader. But the dynamics between the rest of the team (especially the silly and fun tech agent, Penelope Garcia) keep the foundational bonds strong. And tonight, we finally get the answer to who got blowed up in the season finale – they showed multiple agents getting into their SUVs, but no clear shot of which one was exploding. While I quietly hate them for making me wait, I NEED to know, dangit!

More soon, people – but for those of you who want a handy chart with premiere dates and fun links, go here.

The Best Of Fall TV - Part 1 (Monday Nights - Yes, Belated)

Fall TV actually started a couple of weeks ago, so why the delay? Well, networks seem to be unfurling their new schedules slowly, possibly due to the writers’ strike having stunted the progress of new shows. At any rate, they’re just tossing out a few new nuggets every week. So, are those nuggets gold or something that came out of Lassie’s posterior? I’ll try to clue you in during the next few weeks – but my Tivo has been smoking and rumbling with the amount of new stuff in the “To Do” list, so be patient!

This week in particular is a big one, so stick with me – I’m taking you onto the front lines:

1. Returning And New Monday Comedies On CBS – You can either try to give your funny bone more Calcium, or just tune into CBS tonight. I can promise that the 8-9pm hour of How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory is possibly the funniest 60 minutes of the week. (Alone, I think My Name Is Earl could probably still kick either of their butts. But together? I’m pretty sure Leonard would trip Earl while Barney taunted him while he was down.) Tonight, we get introduced to Worst Week – which is yet another British remake, and could go either way. The plot seems a bit thin – a groom-to-be makes a (repeatedly) bad impression on his future in-laws. But there have been worse ideas that have turned into great shows, so I’ll try it out – plus, Week features Red Forman (Kurtwood Smith) from That 70’s Show. Who knows?
(Some might question my omission of Two And A Half Men. I’ve never gotten around to watching it, and I simply don’t have time to get hooked on any more TV. ‘Nuff Said.)

2. Monday Is Heroes Night On NBC – Three. Hours. Of. Heroes. Wow. So what’s going on tonight? Well, the first hour is a catch-up clip show. You can’t have a huge conspiracy/
superhero/serialized drama without the ability to catch new viewers up before your new story arc starts - that would just be silly. Will they gloss over the fact that season 2 of the hit drama found them losing viewers because they kinda went off the track, storywise? Will they play down the idea that the strike ending that story might have been the best thing that could have happened? Most definitely on both counts. But that just gave the writers/creators time to sift through fan feedback and retool.
So whats’s up for new stuff? Well, the fact that the name of the new arc is “Villains” should clue you into some of it. At the end of last year’s finale, we saw Sylar regaining power, so you can bet your sweet patootie he’s involved. And there looks to be a slew of big bads we haven’t seen yet.
And Dark Claire. Yeah, they’ve been doing the promo shots implying that the former cheerleader will end up as one of the baddies. But with Peter’s/Hiro’s ability to time travel, we’ve seen that all futures are not destined to be – so we’ll wait impatiently and see. At it’s best, this show had the ability to do what an old Buffy episode did for me on a weekly basis – it left you with a “What the f…?” moment that made you both hate the writers for making you wait until the following week for an answer and simultaneously love them for making you invested enough to need to know. I’m hoping for another season like THAT.

3. Terminator-y Goodness On Fox – (*WARNING - Spoilers ahead*) I know I’ve already talked up The Sarah Connor Chronicles, but it needs to be said again. It’s fun. It’s pretty. It’s pretty fun. Seriously though, the opening montage to the first episode of the second season (yes, it started on the 8th, so sue me) alone is why the show is worth watching. There was no dialogue, only music (the incomparable talent of Shirley Manson of Garbage – who also happens to play the new uber-villain – doing a remake of “Samson & Delilah”). Yet, during that opening sequence, we wrap up the cliffhanger from last season with Cameron walking out of the blown-up Jeep while Sarah and John escape their bonds and defeat their captor. Sounds peachy, right? Did I mention that Cameron accidentally started a house fire on her way in (which threatens to burn our heroes alive), and that she tries to kill John when her damaged processing chip orders her to “Terminate”? Things are never simple for this crew.
And Shirley Manson’s villainous move at the end of the episode? Morphing from a urinal to reveal that she’s a T-1000 style Terminator? Besides bringing a whole new meaning to Porta-Potty, it tells me that this second season has a few new tricks in its bag. (And even more impressive would be how the geeky Brian Austin Green from Beverly Hills 90210 has transformed into grizzled freedom fighter Derek Reese – and has actually been believable.)

That’s all the tidbits for now – there will be more updates from here on, and even more Monday night stuff. Just hold on ‘til then, kids…