Friday, February 13, 2009

Saturday the 14th - Your Bloody VD Soundtrack

Okay, you don’t often get this convergence of events – Friday the 13th followed by Valentine’s Day. This unique event deserves a special kind of soundtrack, and I’m giddy with excitement – Jason Voorhees, the masked master of mayhem, the man who’s single-handedly kept Ginsu knives in production, has come into the studio to help us. He’s plugging the release of his bio pic (Friday the 13th, in theatres today), and helping us spin some tracks for your Valentine's sweeties.

Jason, do you have anything to say to our listeners before we get started?

“…..*uhhh-nuh-*…..”

Ooookeedokey, the silent type, hmmm? How ‘bout you just point that machete at whatever disc you want? No, wait – not at her. C’mon, Jeanette’s my new assistant!! Really, machete to the back of the head? How original – isn’t that how you killed Kevin Bacon back in the day?!

“…Muh-mah…”

Oh right, it was your mom. Whatever, we’re through. It’s going to take the cleanup crew forever to get rid of all this blood.

“…um sah-rah…”

It’s a little late for you to be sorry now! It’s a good thing you picked out a few songs before this whole mess started. Here’s Jason’s list, people – enjoy.

1. “Die, Die My Darling” – The Misfits
2. “My Love Is Like A Tire Iron” – Ted Nugent
3. “Poison Heart” – Coffin Caddies
4. “Blood, Sex and Booze” – Green Day
5. “Sex & Dying In High Society” – X
6. “Love Is a Fist” – Mr. Bungle
7. “Beat Your Heart Out” – The Distillers
8. “Only Women Bleed” – Alice Cooper
9. “Drivin’ Thru My Heart” – The Donnas
10. “Love You To Death” – Type O Negative
11. “Stabbed In The Heart” – Damone
12. “Kiss Me Deadly” – Lita Ford
13. “Evil Love” – Meat Puppets
14. “Breaking Up The Girl” – Garbage

So what songs did this hockey goalie reject forget? You know where the comments section is

No comments: