Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Middleman: Quite Possibly The Best Summer Show…Ever

There aren’t many shows that can gracefully walk the line between utter brilliance and absolute cheesy-ness. I think the part that allows the former quality to shine through is that they embrace the latter cheese factor like they were slow-dancing with a Gouda wheel.

Mmmmm… Gouda.

What’s the premise for this Swiss Colony cheese log? Wendy Watson (played by Natalie Morales) is a cute young artist who’s been temping to make the rent - until an accident at her gig for A.N.D. Labs (“Rescrambling your DNA, how can I direct your call?”) resulted in a hundred-eyed blob that tried to kill her, that is. When faced with danger, you either run screaming or try to stab the blob with a letter opener. Any guesses which choice Wendy Watson made? That’s right, our heroine has what The Middleman (played by Matt Keeslar) would refer to as “moxy”. And after helping to save Wendy’s bacon, Middleman went through channels to offer her a job as his apprentice.

So what the frak IS a Middleman? You’re basically looking at a crime-fighting comic book-type hero - complete with Eisenhower jacket and all sorts of nifty gadgets. There is always one in service with another in training. The current model is a milk-swilling (“Mmmm…That’s good cow squirt!”), no-cursing (“Not a gosh darn chance in heck!”), square-jawed, hair-pomade-wearing do-gooder. In the Middleman’s service is Ida, an android in the guise of a cranky librarian with atrocious fashion sense – but she’s always got the info you need in a pinch.

How does this whole thing work – is MM super-rich like Bruce Wayne, or is it more like a spy-movie meets Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. kinda thing? Don’t make me hose you down fanboy, I’m getting to all of that. I think Middleman summed it up best when he was explaining it to Wendy: “I got recruited, the exact same way you did. When the last Middleman hired me, he never said and I never asked. Ida was already there, so were all the weapons and gadgets and things. Sometimes a box comes in with more weapons and gadgets and things. I don't know where they come from; they just do. Maybe Ida runs the show, maybe it's the conspiracy. Maybe it's God. I'm just The Middleman.” They winkingly refer to their agency as O2STK or “Organization Too Secret To Know”.

So, Wendy gets inducted into this secret cabal and her life gets erased I bet! Never to be seen by friends and family again – she probably gets her fingerprints erased with acid, too! Man, you guys need to get out of your basement more. Dubbie (as Wendy is nicknamed by MM) pretty much keeps her normal life, in fact fueling her painting with the wacky hijinks she gets into at work. She lives in a studio apartment with her best friend Lacey, a vegetarian performance artist and animal activist – and love interest for Middleman (she might be a bit interested as well – she’s been known to refer to him as Wendy’s “sexy bossman” or “pillow lips”). Also living in Wendy’s building is Noser, generally seen in the hallway with a guitar. He’s quick with a quip, and usually addresses you with a song lyric. An average exchange?:

Noser: Yo, Wendy Watson.

Wendy: Hey, Noser.

Noser: Who's the Man?

WW: That would be Shaft, Noser.

Noser: What kind of man?

WW: A complicated man.

Noser: And who understands him?

WW: No one but his woman.

Noser: Right on.

Noser has also been known to kick some ass at “Stump The Band” – which consists of someone in the audience yelling out a song title and Noser responding with “Yup, I know that”… Add in Tyler (a love interest for Dubbie - with a twist), an evil son-of-a-landlord (Shut your mouth!) named Pip, a master sensei in a Luchadore mask and a revolving rogues gallery and you’ve got the basic idea.

This doesn’t sound THAT campy so far. I mean, wasn’t it based on some silly comic book, too? Yes, there were three Middleman comics mini-series published by Viper Comics, written by Javier Grillo-Marxuach and illustrated by Les McClaine. And the tone was smarmy in the comic, so imagine what it sounds like coming out of the mouths of real people – I can tell you, it pretty much sounds like Kevin Smith writing lightning-fast dialogue for superheroes on acid. And as for the camp factor? I’ll give you five reasons this show is dripping with cheese, and yet you’ll still lap up every drop:

1. A Super-intelligent ape starts running the local mafia (as a bonus, the name of the local mob hangout, Il Mutande Grandissimo, loosely translates to “the really big underpants”).
2. An intergalactic boy band (Varsity Fan Club) spreads mayhem – and horrible music – across the universe.
3. Kevin Sorbo (yes, Hercules) plays a Middleman put in cryo-sleep in the ‘60s. And he’s a cocktail-drinking, smooth-talking lothario, baby!
4. Flesh-eating zombies that want to eat your…Trout?!
5. Two words: Vampire. Puppet.

So what’s the catch? And why haven’t I heard more about this show if it’s so good? The only catch is that there’s only one episode left in the first season, airing tomorrow night (Monday, Sept. 1st) at 10pm on ABC Family. The real problem is that if people don’t catch on to how great MM is, this could be the ONLY new episode we ever get. So get caught up on the story – the episodes are available on iTunes, and I’m sure you can find them through more –ahem- questionable methods elsewhere. Then tell everyone you know to tell everyone they know. Then tell them to give ABC Family feedback on the show here. Or take Javier Grillo-Marxuach’s mild suggestion to prompt renewal, as can be read here. And again, WATCH THE EPISODES! Then you too can:

Delight! To the zany antics of our cadre of heroes...

Fear! The men in rubber masks trying to take over the world...

Pee A Little! As you laugh at brilliantly insane dialogue...

Still can’t get enough? Read the Middleman comics, all in one nifty package – click here for more info from Amazon.com.

Then come back tomorrow for the Labor Day song list, kids! Peace and geese for now…

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