R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio

Ronnie James Dio was NOT taken down by stomach cancer. Here's how I know:

Dio was the only one with the iron sac to take the vocal reins of Black Sabbath after Ozzy departed. The rumors that Mr. Osbourne only left Sabbath because of a "mystical bitchslap" laid down by RJD's personal wizard only makes it more impressive.

Not only did he popularize the infamous "devil horns" hand gesture that is a heavy metal staple, he also beat the devil's ass and told him that he was taking HIS horns away. That's how he rolled.

RJD consorted with witches, slew dragons and fought off hordes of demons with little more than his own voice...and possibly a giant sword. Don't believe me? Check out this video, and you may change your mind:



That's how I know it couldn't have been stomach cancer, an evil that couldn't be fought on the fields of battle. He deserved to go out in a glorious fight, making the landscape quake with his thundering voice before meeting his equals in Valhalla. And that's the end I choose to remember...

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio (1942-2010). You will be remembered well.