Thor, Norse God of Thunder! One of the most powerful, longhaired hippies of the Marvel Comics universe. And, in the wrong hands, one of the most boring books in that company’s repertoire!ThorFan52 - Wait, wait, wait - really?! Boring? I mean, even when he got turned into a cute little frog with a tiny little Mjolnir hammer?... Wow, maybe that WAS kinda weak. Dang!
So, why make a Thor movie? Aside from the fact that he's going to be a heavy hitter in the upcoming Avengers movie? Well, this is a great time for Thor fans, given the stellar relunch of the title by comic scribe extraordinaire, J. Michael Straczynski. Plus, we geeks do love our origin stories. But will this be another Iron Man caliber back-story, or possibly more akin to the first Hulk movie? Lord knows I never need to see another gamma-irradiated poodle again to remember the dreck that spawned it. Let’s just hope that Marvel has learned from their recent mistakes…and successes.
Early peeks at the plot have revealed that there will be a lot more of the Asgardian backdrop than many of the fanboys seem comfortable with (for those of you who may not be as fluent in geek speak, Asgard is the home of the Norse gods). A lot of people are griping that they want Thor to immediately be the superhero they remember from their childhood, fighting alongside Captain America and Iron Man to thwart the villain of the month. Well, kids, just remember – Thor got booted down to Earth for being a naughty godling. This movie will focus on some of the reasons he was cast out, and his gradual transition to one of Earth’s greatest heroes. All we can hope for from here is that the comic relief of characters like the Warriors Three won’t morph into the slapstick comedy of the Stooges Three…
So who will be filling the roles? Here are a few of the major cast members:
Thor: Chis HemsworthGeek Cred: What, playing James T. Kirk’s daddy (in this year's phenomenal Star Trek reset) isn’t good enough for you? Okay, how about if I tell you he’s in Joss Whedon’s upcoming horror movie, The Cabin In The Woods? Yeah, I thought throwing in the almighty Joss might clinch it.
Will He Suck? I’m going to go with no. His role as George Kirk (albeit short) got me all choked up. And as to ThorFan52’s comment that he looks a little too weenie to play the six-foot-something thunder god – unclench already! Recent pictures look like he’s been bulking up for the role. And haven’t you ever heard of the wonders of CGI? Yeesh…
Jane Foster: Natalie PortmanWho, Now? This was the love interest for Thor’s mortal identity, Dr. Donald Blake. She was originally a nurse, but they're supposedly tweaking the character to update.
Geek Cred: Hello? Princess Amidala? Star Wars I-III? Anyone? Oh yeah, and she was Evey in V for Vendetta…
Will She Suck? Hello? Star Wars I-III…kinda sucked. But we’ll blame most of that on George Lucas’ crappy writing (I believe someone described it as "what might happen if a syphilitic chimp was given a typewriter and some crack") and Hayden Christenson’s “what if Anakin Skywalker was played by a whiney Rocky Balboa” approach to acting. She’ll do fine.
Loki: Tom HiddlestonWho, Now? Ah, Loki – God of mischief and lies. In the Marvel Comics version of the story, he was the son of a frost giant. Odin, king of the Norse gods (and Thor’s pappy), adopted Loki after killing his father. This character is a great introduction, since in the original Avengers comic he was the big bad that made the team come together…
Geek Cred: Well, one would assume that appearing in a Thor movie might do it, but it’s too early to tell.
Will He Suck? I confess that I’ve never heard of him before this project. But the pictures I’ve seen (no offense, Mr. Hiddleston) make me believe that he could mimic this smarmy baddie with one gauntlet tied behind his back…
Lady Sif: Jessica Biel (rumored)Who, Now? Thor’s love interest in Asgard – picture a hot woman in armor wielding a sword and kicking your ass. Now go hose down, spanky.
Geek Cred: Do you remember her slow motion walking into your heart as Whistler’s daughter in Blade: Trinity? What? That movie stank like old cabbage? Oh yeah…
Will She Suck? Hopefully not, but I loved Jennifer Garner a lot more before she went and wrecked up Elektra. And me likey Jessica Biel - in a way that’s almost as wildly inappropriate as how most of us still feel when we remember Carrie Fisher in that gold bikini. Aahhh - Lady Sif in a chain mail tube top…
3 comments:
So, what you're telling me is I can have Natalie Portman and Jessica Biel together?
So to speak?
For the price of a movie ticket?
(that's the ad campaign--right there)
I thought Natalie Portman was the one of the better characters in the Star Wars "Ill-ogy," until the third one where they turned her into a wining powerless wimpy chick!
What did ya'll think of the Watchmen, BIG FLACID BLUE PENIS aside?
P.S. In case you were wondering where that segue came from, it was the Natalie Portman-V For Vendetta-Alan Moore-Watchmen train of thought.
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