Goodbye Monsoon Summer Playlist

If you live in the Northeast like I do, you’re probably about as sick of this summer’s striking resemblance to monsoon season as I am. Meanwhile, the meteorologists are all giddy because they get to coin new terms like “gustnado” – small, concentrated tornados that quickly sweep down your street and drop trees on your house while you’re at Home Depot! Sound a little specific? Yeah, that might’ve actually happened to me. I think the meteorologists should just go back to tracking meteors like they did in the old days. I mean what happens when a meteor filled with radioactive alien goop suddenly drops in the ocean and creates a race of giant mutant seahorses while they're off tracking silly things like weather? Hmmm?

But I digress.

The point I had been trying to make: this summer’s weather has sucked. We’re all tired of waking up to gloomy gray skies and sideways rain. Well, I’ve got your solution right here. First, watch a peppy mindless beach movie. No, not Beach Blanket Bingo - I was thinking more along the lines of Psycho Beach Party. Second, I’ve whipped up a little soundtrack to remind us of brighter days. If played loud enough (around 11 on the volume dial should do), these songs may actually scare the clouds away. Just point those speakers right out the windows – the neighbors won’t mind the noise if this works. Let’s give it a shot, shall we…

1. “Rockaway Beach” – The Ramones
2. “Steal My Sunshine” – Len
3. “Ocean Size” – Jane’s Addiction
4. “Surfin’ Cow” – Dead Milkmen
5. “Summer Nights” - Less Than Jake (Yes, it’s a Grease cover)
6. “Porno Getaway” – Seventeen
7. “Island In The Sun” – Weezer
8. “Goin’ Crazy (From The Heat)” – David Lee Roth
9. “Sun King” – The Cult
10. “Badfish” - Sublime

Any other suggestions? You know where the comments section is, kids…