Drunk On Nog - Your Christmas Soundtrack

Since Thanksgiving, you’ve been bombarded with Christmas songs that you’ve heard approximately a bazillion times (yes, that’s a precise unit of measure – don’t question it!). If you’re like me, you’re ready to rip your ears off in defiance, but you’ve still got the office party this Friday and the neighbors’ all-inclusive Christmakwanzukkahstice celebration on Saturday. So, what do you do about that pesky music? Juano’s got you covered, never fear. Of course, you may have to knock out the DJ with a giant ornamental candy cane to get these tunes on – but that shouldn’t be a problem, right? Some of these songs are classics, some are humorous ditties and others will get you put on the “Naughty” list for life. But it’s worth that lump of coal – plus, I know some of you have had a spanking on your X-Mas list, so there’s the whole two-birds-one-stoner outlook. Enough buildup, here’s the goodies:

1. “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues
2. “Christmas” – Blues Traveler
3. “Run, Run Rudolph” – Chuck Berry
4. “There Ain’t No Sanity Clause” – The Damned
5. “Twelve Days Of Christmas” – Bob & Doug McKenzie
6. “Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis” – Tom Waits
7. “Christmas Katie” – Widespread Panic
8. “Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy” – David Bowie & Bing Crosby
9. “I Almost Met Santa Claus” – Marc Amendola
10. “Christmas Night of Zombies” - MXPX
11. “Swiss Colony Beef Log” – Eric Cartman (South Park)
12. “Merry Christmas From The Family” – Robert Earl Keen (there’s also a great cover by Jill Sobule)
13. “Christmas In Hollis” – Run DMC
14. “Santa Has A Mullet” – Nerf Herder
15. “Cool Yule” – Louis Armstrong
16. “I’m Having Santa For Christmas” – Lustra
17. “Santa and His Old Lady” – Cheech and Chong
18. “Christmas At The Zoo” – Flaming Lips
19. “My First Christmas As A Woman” – The Vandals
20. “Oi To The World” – No Doubt (Vandals cover)
21 “The Christians and the Pagans” – Dar Williams
22. “Christmas Wrapping” – The Waitresses
23. “Bizarre Christmas Incident” – Ben Folds
24. “My Christmas List” – Simple Plan
25. “Christmas In The Slammer” – The Swallows

You need more holiday tunes? Try these albums for more:

1. Just Can’t Get Enough: New Wave Christmas
2. You Sleigh Me!
3. Just Say Noel (Geffen Records)
4. Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics (South Park)
5. Christmas Caravan – Squirrel Nut Zippers
6. A Christmas Album – Bright Eyes
7. Lump of Coal
8. The Ultimate Christmas Collection - Brian Setzer
9. A Magical Christmas of Magic - Harry and the Potters
10. The Mother of All Flagpole Christmas Albums

Have a blast, kids! Just watch out for your cousin Tony's Eggnog - he makes it with Rum and lighter fluid...