Fall TV Schedule: Who Gets To Stay? (Part 1)

Okay, we’re done dwelling on the shows we’ve laid to rest – on to the ones that actually got pardons from the governor, the renewals! As I previously mentioned, the writers’ strike forced the networks to throw down a safety net when deciding the fall schedule, so some freshman shows that hadn’t had enough time to prove themselves got a chance for a new start next year. Even a few of the mid-season replacements got to stay around and play in the big leagues next year – so as long as the actors don’t go on strike next (watch for news on the SAG/AFTRA contract negotiations), we may have a pretty decent TV season…

Same As It Ever Was (Renewals, Part 1) – The Comedies

1. Reaper (CW) – Hooray – it’s a win for the good guys! I talked up this (former) bubble show a while ago, and it made it! Some say that the CW is anticipating the hole in their schedule which will be left after Smallville wraps next year, needing a suitable genre show to pair up with Supernatural. Whatever the reason, it’s giving this incredible show a second chance to find an audience. (And yes, I realize that this show could just as easily have been classified as a drama – but the fact that it more-often-than-not makes me laugh my ass off lands it in this category…)

2. How I Met Your Mother (CBS) – This show is always at the top of its game, and consistently underrated. It’s a simple story, and the title says it all – it centers on Ted, the “father” of the story, who narrates the (insane/implausible/perfectly sitcomish) story to his children. Yet, every year there is a question about whether or not Mother will return, and there is no need – Neil Patrick Harris’ turn as Barney (the loveable a-hole of the bunch) alone leaves the show high above its competitors. Add the talent of fellow cast members like Jason Segal (Judd Apatow approved!) and Alyson Hannigan (Buffy, American Pie), and you have one of the finest comedy ensembles around - it is absolutely awe… wait for it… some!

3. Samantha Who? (ABC) – It’s funny when you see actors/actresses who started out in sitcoms as teens in the eighties trying new roles as adults. Justine Bateman, for example, proved how “stiff” and “monosyllabic” are not good acting styles to try out upon your return (see her recent guest stints on Men In Trees and Desperate Housewives for proof). That’s why it’s nice to see someone like Christina Applegate do so well – equal parts charm and cuteness make her turn as Samantha come alive. Ms. Who apparently was a ruthless rhymes-with-witch who is suffering from amnesia and now strives towards a better life – a plot device that could wear thin in the hands of lesser players. But with co-stars like Jennifer Esposito (Spin City, Rescue Me) and Melissa McCarthy (Sookie from Gilmore Girls), the show doesn’t suffer any symptoms of lame sitcomitis.

4. Big Bang Theory (CBS) – What happens when two ridiculously intelligent yet socially challenged roommates get a super hot neighbor? That underlying premise of this frosh comedy leads to a variety of standard sitcom misunderstandings and shenanigans – but it has evolved into something much bigger than that. The phenomenal casting of the four best friends allows a perfect window into geek culture (and trust me, I’m an expert witness on that) – from Leonard (the ringleader, played by Johnny Galecki from Roseanne, My Boys) to Sheldon (the hyper-logical straight man of this comedy troupe, played by the Emmy-deserving Jim Parsons) to Howard (the creepy sex-starved guy-who-still-lives-with-mom) to Raj (the token Indian character who’s so shy that he completely loses the ability to speak in front of women), they work wonderfully together. Add Penny, the love interest and only socially competent member of the group – that’s good Squishee, my friends. And the beauty of the show is that it doesn’t dumb down the dialogue for the masses – if there’s a physics joke, chances are that it’s scientifically accurate. That’s what made Isaac Asimov’s daughter (Robyn) give Bang her seal of approval, which must be what it would be like if Ryan Seacrest gave The L Word his thumbs up… What?… He’s not gay?… Huh – the joke stands.

5. Scrubs (ABC) – Yes, this appeared on the canceled list, too. But the fact that this always-funny show gets to finish its run in style with a full final season means that it finally gets the recognition it deserves. Too bad NBC were such morons that they couldn’t recognize what they had…

Next up: Renewed Dramas – see you soon!

(And again, the full fall lineup is here.)

Fall TV Schedule: Who Didn't Make It? (Part 2)

Okay, let’s get right to it – we’re still on the depressing subject of shows we left behind. But fear not, next time we’ll focus on happier subjects, the things that got renewed…

A Salute To Those On The Chopping Block (Part 2) – The Dramas

1. Journeyman (NBC) – As I mentioned in my Life On Mars post, time travel hasn’t held a place in Americans’ hearts in the past few years. So, the main character involuntarily being thrown back in time probably didn’t help win the Nielsens. The unfortunate part of all that was how well crafted the show was, to a point where you could almost forget the sci-fi and fantasy aspects of the premise – it turns out that fixing the time stream can throw your family life into a tailspin as well as any run-of-the-mill absentee father story. The episodes were split between the title character’s missions and this familial strife, which was balanced incredibly well. Too bad more people didn’t think so…

2. Moonlight (CBS) – Okay, the parallels to Angel, the Buffy spin-off about the do-gooder vampire with a detective agency, were obvious before the show ever aired. The problem was how bland and hokey this version would be. The show focused on Mick St. John (Alex O'Loughlin) and his somewhat inappropriate fixation on leading lady Beth. Why so creepy? Well, Mick saved Beth from another vampire when she was a little girl, and has been vamp stalking her ‘til she was age appropriate – giggity-goo! Anyway, Mick liked to stroll around in the sunlight (in this mythology, the sun does an Easy-Bake oven version of frying on vamps) with his shirt wide open, whining about why he’s not human anymore – this got old pretty quick. The overall story was fun, but even Jason Dohring’s (who will forever be Logan from Veronica Mars to some) more relaxed role as a millionaire vamp didn’t give the show that little boost it needed.

3. Canterbury’s Law (Fox) – This could have been Julianna Margulies’s next big role, following her as Elizabeth Canterbury, ruthless defense attorney. She was charismatic as always, and surrounded by a great supporting cast including Aidan Quinn as her hubbie. Where did it go wrong? They went too dark with the leading lady too quickly. Granted, they dumped this in the dreaded mid-season, so they knew they had to work fast to establish the characters. But going from learning that someone stole her son when she wasn’t looking to making her a borderline alcoholic to wrecking her marriage to sleeping with a private dick to jury tampering, all in six episodes? Too much for most to process…

4. Women’s Murder Club (ABC) – Another mid-season dump, this show actually could have been a contender – it got farther than most by getting another 3 episode order after the writers’ strike ended. Based on the series of books by James Patterson, it centered four women – a police detective (Angie Harmon), an assistant D.A. (Laura Harris), a coroner and a reporter - working together as friends and as a team. The great part of the show was that it could survive as a weekly procedural (though much less grisly than its counterparts), but it also worked well with an underlying serial killer mythology (the Kiss-Me-Not killer, the mystery man they’ve been hunting for years). Unfortunately, the last batch of episodes wasn’t enough to catch any new viewers, and it ended up in the scrap heap.

5. Jericho (CBS) – This was a holdover from last year’s cancellations – fan response to losing the show was overwhelming, and CBS allowed the show to wrap up its plotline with an additional seven episodes. With the WGA strike, though, most hoped that this post-nuclear attack drama would gain momentum against a backdrop of reruns on other stations. Not so much, unfortunately…

6. Bionic Woman (NBC) – Unlike other contemporary remakes - like the fraktastic Battlestar Galactica (which is also produced by Bionic’s David Eick, and lends the talents of Starbuck’s Katee Sackhoff as a rogue bionic agent), this one was not destined for greatness. Critics wrote this show off, and many pointed fingers about the casting of Isaiah Washington so soon after his cast-off from Grey’s Anatomy in response to his homophobic slur - and switching out the show-runners in the process didn’t help. But Bionic could have been a success – the general premise of Jaime Sommers’ bartender-turned-superhero angle was nothing new and the dark and gloomy oh-so-secret agency was cliché, but the family dynamic of the troubled teen sister and the goofiness of some of the background characters helped throw in some balance. But with only 8 episodes in the can, the strike decided this sleeper’s fate – no more episodes to even wrap it up. There’s no coming back from that car wreck, Jaime…

7. New Amsterdam (Fox) – We all wanted to like this one – the premise of a man given immortality until he finds his one true love sounded intriguing. But this show was meant for a fall premiere and kept getting pushed back because the writers never seemed to have a sense of what direction they should go. The overall plot was fun, but when lead character John Amsterdam (played by Nikolaj Coster Waldau) comes across as emotionless and disinterested, can you spell d-o-o-m-e-d? Fox can.

Next up: Renewals we’re thankful for. See you then…

(Again, for a full list of what’s new, canceled or brand spanking new, go here.)

Fall TV Schedule: Who Didn't Make It? (Part 1)

All the dust is finally settling from last week’s network TV upfronts, and an overall fall schedule looks set. But with the delays in production from the three-month Writers’ Guild strike, everything old looks new again. What does that mean? Well, with little-to-no time to write/film/view new pilots, nets are only picking a few new projects and leaving a very familiar landscape for primetime viewers. So what’s new, what’s staying and what’s toast? I’ve got your answers, keep your pants on…

Today’s Installment: A Salute To Those On The Chopping Block (Part 1):
Some we barely got to know, some we never wanted to know, and some we hoped would have been so much better. However we felt, they’re all dead as disco, baby…

Failed Attempts At Funny Bone Tickling – The Comedies

1. Back To You (Fox) - This one is probably the most surprising failure – there was plenty of talent on hand, with Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton in the leading roles. But talent can’t salvage a show with a premise that had been used up back when Frasier was still shouting “Norm” at the end of a bar. Still, I thought the fact that Fox can’t produce a popular non-cartoon comedy to save their lives might have changed their minds.

2. Return of Jezebel James (Fox) – What was I just saying about Fox? Oh, and this wasn’t a cartoon? Right. The simple fact that this show was brought to us by Amy Sherman-Palladino (creator of the wonderful Gilmore Girls) was enough to make most want to jump for joy. But then Fox dumped it in the dreaded mid-season replacement slot – which is generally a sign that the show is dead weight. How could they?! Oh wait – it really does stink? Yeah, it seems that the frenetic dialogue pacing that Ms. Palladino likes to write didn’t work well for Parker Posey, who came off as an unlikable meth addict who wanted a kid. Posey won audiences over time and again with starring roles in many of the Christopher Guest mockumentaries - but we started to worry about her when she played a scary-for-all-the-wrong-reasons vampire in Blade: Trinity. It's too bad - Lauren Ambrose was cute as a butten as usual, and if they could have slowed things down a bit Jezebel might have had potential.

3. Cavemen (ABC) – Yes, from the Geico commercial. Yes, it was really as bad as you’d heard.

4. Aliens In America (CW) – This was a fantastic show with loveable characters, great acting and fun plotlines. Yes, it seemed silly – a kid from Pakistan comes to stay with a Wisconsin family as an exchange student, cultural misunderstandings go awry and wackiness ensues – but isn’t that what a sitcom SHOULD BE? Canceling this charming story was a huge waste.

5. Miss/Guided (ABC) – Simple premise: Judy Greer plays a nerdy girl who comes back to her old high school as a guidance counselor. She’s much prettier, more confident and still horribly awkward in social situations. As far as mid-season shows go, this was actually quite good – nice cast, Saturday Night Live alum (Chris Parnell), Ashton Kutcher producing/guest-starring. But with only 7 episodes shot, it hardly had time to find its way.

5.5. Scrubs (NBC) – Not really cancelled, just moved to ABC (who already produces the show). NBC never gave this show enough credit, and it was on the verge of cancellation every season. The fact that the network was going to make them air their final episodes on DVD? Well, that was enough to make ABC step up to the plate and give them a final season worthy of this amazing comedy.

Up next for the chopping block: The Dramas. See you then...

(For a full rundown of what's new, canceled or brand spanking new, go here.)

Do I Smell A Stinker?: Life On Mars Redux

This is the big week for TV networks - upfronts, when the fall schedules are announced. With ABC making nearly no changes to their schedule in a bid for stability, any new shows added to that list should be an undoubted masterpiece, right? Well, the only new scripted show to be picked up by the alphabet net is Life On Mars, a remake of the hit BBC time travel drama. The basic plot point of both versions is that the lead character (a police detective) is in an accident in the present, and wakes up to find himself trapped in the 70’s. Sounds okay so far? Wait for it…

The history behind the project: David E. Kelley has been working to get this project to TV for the better part of the last two years – the original pilot episode was shot last summer. For those of you who don’t know Kelley’s body of work, he came to fame at the helm of Ally McBeal and has worked on a variety of TV shows including The Practice and its current spin-off Boston Legal. In all of his shows so far, there have been some charming characters and witty dialogue – but no ringing endorsements to his ability to helm a sci-fi cop show. Well, now that the show has been picked up – Kelley is severing ties with the program. So what brilliant team is taking the reigns? Since the abysmal October Road has been canceled, the out-of-work producers from that show have been handed this gift. And here I thought Road was helmed by a room full of retarded chimps. Who knew?

“Can they really be that bad?”, you ask: Did you ever SEE October Road? I watched the first episode because I always had a thing for Laura Prepon, the feisty redhead from That 70’s Show. But around halfway through the pilot, after dry-heaving a bit from the throwaway dialogue and terrible acting, I had seen enough to know that my Tivo must have had a bellyache just trying to record the show. I deleted it and tried to forget. But now these guys are trying to wreck something I might actually watch. Dang!

Can LOM be salvaged?: I started digging into the pasts of the new showrunners, hoping that the October debacle could be forgiven. It looks like Josh Appelbaum and André Nemec have been working together for a while, and they've actually worked on some sci-fi tinged dramas such as Alias and Early Edition. Not bad. Ohhhh, but they also worked on the MTV-music-video-meets-cop-show Fastlane, which featured the acting “talents” of Tiffani Thiessen and Bill Bellamy. Granted, this FOX program was one of my guilty pleasures, but the cheese factor of that coupled with October Road? Yikes.

The final part of this unholy trinity is Scott Rosenberg, who seems to have been involved with a lot more movie projects than TV. I again saw a glimmer of hope when I read the title High Fidelity on his writing credits list – classic. So what could ruin that? Oh, there it is – Kangaroo Jack. Yeeeech.

The other bad omen for Mars is the apparent disinterest of the American audience for time-travel dramas. Within the last two seasons, ABC had its own failure with Day Break, while NBC suffered a similar fate with Journeyman (and we won't question the fact that the lovely but possibly-cursed Moon Bloodgood was on both shows). But still, I keep a glimmer of hope alive – I am a sci-fi dork, after all. And what I’ve seen of the original UK version was great, so if this new take on the mythology can at least partially live up to that, it may make it. Add the casting of a sci-fi vet like Colm Meaney and the possibility of some decent scripts and it could actually be good. Make me proud, chimp-men, make me proud…

Stupid Sequel Ideas, Volume 1: The Descent 2

Okay, hypothetically, if there was a cave full of man-eating bat-like creatures that you just barely escaped (covered in your best friends’ blood, I might add), would you go back there for some fun spelunking? Yeah, neither would I.

The plot of the first installment in this unlikely franchise was your basic horror movie premise: “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if we went to _____, it’s not on any maps and no one in the world would know where we are!” In this case, fill in the blank with “a deadly system of caves where we could possibly get eaten alive” and you have The Descent numero uno. Throw in some inner turmoil between the main characters, copious amounts of blood and goo and a “Woman Power!” message straight out of some gorey Ya-Ya Sisterhood handbook, and there it is.

Only one woman makes it out in that first flick, and everyone assumed that she just kept driving ‘til she hit China. Well, the sequel would have us believe that she got talked into going back to the caves to see if any of her friends survived. How do you spell d-u-m-b, folks?

I think the world (fictional or otherwise) would run a little more smoothly if people learned their lesson from horror movies. Turn to your friend right now and tell him/her: “If we’re ever fighting monsters, aliens or some kind of hybrid alien/monster and you see something chewing on my leg, I give you permission to assume I’m a goner. Just run ‘til you hit China.” See – much easier. Then again, if you’re a fan of shouting out phrases like: “Oh my god, NO ONE is that stupid! Don’t go in there!”, then you just may be in for the movie experience of a lifetime with The Decent 2…

(The movie is still in the pre-production stages, eyeing a 2009 release.)

R.I.P. Men In Trees – Another Bubble Show Bites The Dust

In another WTF turn of events, ABC has officially cancelled Men In Trees. For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it is a consistently charming romantic comedy about a relationship expert, Marin Frist (played by the wonderfully talented Anne Heche), who finds herself transplanted from her native New York to Elmo, Alaska while promoting her new book. When she finds out that her fiancé had been cheating on her, she decides to make the change in latitude more permanent. The show starts as a fish out of water story, with the city girl having problems adapting to a small town mentality. But the incredible ensemble cast quickly turns the tale into a quirky comedic masterpiece.

So who are the other characters? Well, there’s Jack (Marin’s eventual love interest), Jane (Marin’s agent, who visits Elmo but keeps us anchored in the New York part of the story), Annie (Marin’s cute-as-a-button #1 fan from New York, who also moves to Elmo), Patrick (also a big Frist fan, the one who set up this stop on the book tour at his B & B – he’s also the town’s radio DJ), Chief Celia (Patrick’s by-the-book mother, and the only local police), Ben (owner of the Chieftan, the one bar in town, where everyone meets), Theresa (Ben’s wife and a bartender at the Chieftan), Sarah (the honorable town prostitute – did I mention there’s about 5 women in the town? The boys get lonely), Buzz and Mai Washington (he’s the pilot of the Elmo’s single plane, she’s his mail-order bride) and Jerome (the loveable town drunk). These characters play incredibly well off of one another, and the relationships between them evolved into a story that could vary between funny, sad and heartwarming, all in the span of a single episode.

So, why did this great show get the axe? As with many bubble shows, the network it aired on didn’t give it enough room to grow. ABC aired Trees in a variety of different time slots over its run, making it hard for viewers to find. Without that stability, it was surprising that it even got a second season. But even the second season wasn’t a show of confidence. Faced with no real original programming in the face of the writers’ strike, ABC still kept MIT on the bench – even though it had the largest stockpile of fresh episodes. And currently, again running out of new material in May (that’s TV sweeps season, I remind you), Trees’ run has again been interrupted – it won’t restart until the end of May, and will live in obscurity in the summer months while the episodes burn off.

I guess I should be happy that things lasted as long as they did. At least the writers saw the foreshadowing and had enough time to put together a “series finale” scene for the last episode. But with the amount of crap the network was forcing on us (they pre-empted MIT for the thankfully-canceled October Road, and let’s not forget the reality fodder), it’s hard to force a smile.

So, for now we can just enjoy the last few episodes – the final batch starts with the May 28th airing. And for those of you who haven’t gotten a chance to experience the joys of Elmo, Alaska, hopefully there will be a DVD release. Until then, you can check out the episodes ABC has streaming on their web site. Too bad more people didn’t catch on…

Fellow Geeks Unite - It's Free Comic Book Day This Saturday!

Okay, so most of my fellow comic geeks already have plenty of advance knowledge about this event, happening Saturday (Third-o de May-o). For those of you who have never actually heard a debate about whether Thor or Superman would win in a fight though, the event is just as it sounds: comic book stores giving away free stuff. No, you can’t just go pick up whatever you want – companies send out thousands of promotional copies of new and ongoing titles in an effort to gain new readers. Very often this will include reprints of first issues for many series, to give people more character history. But this is also an excellent way for smaller companies to put their works before a larger audience – and at the price of $free, who can really turn anything down?

For more info: http://www.freecomicbookday.com/

For a list of Massachusetts comic shops:
http://the-master-list.com/USA/Massachusetts/index.shtml#Northampton

Bob’s Hobbies II (Northampton) seems to have been omitted from the above list, so:
http://www.myspace.com/andyscomicsandmore

Mindless Self Indulgence - if (2008)

Was it fate that drew me to MSI? I had never heard of this band when I got Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy delivered to my mailbox – and I hadn’t even ordered it (the fine folks from Columbia House record club occasionally like to just send out whatever the hell they feel like to see if you’ll pay for it). My initial reaction to that album wasn’t positive – I thought of the band as an amateurish effort at best. They didn’t take themselves seriously, the music was an odd mix of industrial strength dance-electronica, punk and hip-hop that only occasionally meshed properly, and the lyrics? I mean, lead singer Jimmy Urine’s most intelligent lyrics seemed to be about grabbing the microphone with his butt… Really?

So, some 7 years later, why would I subject myself to all those things willingly by listening to their newest debacle, if? As it turns out, all the things I previously mentioned make the band more fun to listen to than should be legal. Besides, no one finds MSI through the mainstream – their music isn’t exactly pop-radio accessible. Which just makes their popularity so much more impressive.

And if might be their best effort yet. It seemed like Frankenstein Girls (2000) was where the band really started finding their sound, but it was a giant collection (30 tracks) of really short songs and skits. The next studio release, You’ll Rebel To Anything (2005), gave us longer songs - but trimmed down to 10 tracks, it felt too short. And now in 2008, just like Goldilocks in some twisted porn version with her three bears, they got it “just right” – 15 songs, no filler.

So what makes if so great? To start, it’s got an infectious beat throughout that makes you want to move like there’s a rabid ferret in your pants. Couple that with lyrics that sound like what would happen if some crossbreed of a genius poet and a tweaked-out meth-head got hold of a mic, and you get the basic idea. While Jimmy Urine’s penchant for self-deprecation shows no signs of letting up - from tracks like “Prescription”, where he schizophrenically debates the need for drugs before going on stage, to “Get It Up”, where he just wants to make some babies but can’t (ahem) “perform” - we see how these maladjusted malcontents can make you want to laugh, cringe and dance at the same time.

But that’s not to say that it’s all crazy nonsense, either. As insane as most of this sounds, there’s some pretty crafty minds stringing it all together. “Mastermind”, for example, was the track that got “leaked” early on the internet, and seems to be the most radio friendly song on the CD – as much as something rhyming “Mastermind” with “Columbine” and “Suicide” could be, anyway. But one of my favorites is the final song on the disc, “Mark David Chapman”. I had to look the name up – he’s the man who killed John Lennon, which just makes the message more perfect. The song talks about the sea of identical bands that are out there right now, with their “Adolph fukin Hitler/ with this swoopy emo-boy dreamy haircut” looks. So, who could solve that problem? According to MSI, Mark Chapman. While I don’t condone wholesale slaughter, it would certainly free up some radio space – and if that’s the only way to get these guys airplay…

(Note - there are multiple covers for this album, the one pictured being from the deluxe version. All the artwork on this edition is by Jhonen Vasquez of Invader Zim and Johnny The Homicidal Maniac fame.)

For more info: http://www.mindlessselfindulgence.com/