Verily, ‘Tis A Thor Movie!

Thor, Norse God of Thunder! One of the most powerful, longhaired hippies of the Marvel Comics universe. And, in the wrong hands, one of the most boring books in that company’s repertoire!

ThorFan52 - Wait, wait, wait - really?! Boring? I mean, even when he got turned into a cute little frog with a tiny little Mjolnir hammer?... Wow, maybe that WAS kinda weak. Dang!

So, why make a Thor movie? Aside from the fact that he's going to be a heavy hitter in the upcoming Avengers movie? Well, this is a great time for Thor fans, given the stellar relunch of the title by comic scribe extraordinaire, J. Michael Straczynski. Plus, we geeks do love our origin stories. But will this be another Iron Man caliber back-story, or possibly more akin to the first Hulk movie? Lord knows I never need to see another gamma-irradiated poodle again to remember the dreck that spawned it. Let’s just hope that Marvel has learned from their recent mistakes…and successes.

Early peeks at the plot have revealed that there will be a lot more of the Asgardian backdrop than many of the fanboys seem comfortable with (for those of you who may not be as fluent in geek speak, Asgard is the home of the Norse gods). A lot of people are griping that they want Thor to immediately be the superhero they remember from their childhood, fighting alongside Captain America and Iron Man to thwart the villain of the month. Well, kids, just remember – Thor got booted down to Earth for being a naughty godling. This movie will focus on some of the reasons he was cast out, and his gradual transition to one of Earth’s greatest heroes. All we can hope for from here is that the comic relief of characters like the Warriors Three won’t morph into the slapstick comedy of the Stooges Three…

So who will be filling the roles? Here are a few of the major cast members:

Thor: Chis Hemsworth

Geek Cred: What, playing James T. Kirk’s daddy (in this year's phenomenal Star Trek reset) isn’t good enough for you? Okay, how about if I tell you he’s in Joss Whedon’s upcoming horror movie, The Cabin In The Woods? Yeah, I thought throwing in the almighty Joss might clinch it.

Will He Suck? I’m going to go with no. His role as George Kirk (albeit short) got me all choked up. And as to ThorFan52’s comment that he looks a little too weenie to play the six-foot-something thunder god – unclench already! Recent pictures look like he’s been bulking up for the role. And haven’t you ever heard of the wonders of CGI? Yeesh…

Jane Foster: Natalie Portman

Who, Now? This was the love interest for Thor’s mortal identity, Dr. Donald Blake. She was originally a nurse, but they're supposedly tweaking the character to update.

Geek Cred: Hello? Princess Amidala? Star Wars I-III? Anyone? Oh yeah, and she was Evey in V for Vendetta…

Will She Suck? Hello? Star Wars I-III…kinda sucked. But we’ll blame most of that on George Lucas’ crappy writing (I believe someone described it as "what might happen if a syphilitic chimp was given a typewriter and some crack") and Hayden Christenson’s “what if Anakin Skywalker was played by a whiney Rocky Balboa” approach to acting. She’ll do fine.

Loki: Tom Hiddleston

Who, Now? Ah, Loki – God of mischief and lies. In the Marvel Comics version of the story, he was the son of a frost giant. Odin, king of the Norse gods (and Thor’s pappy), adopted Loki after killing his father. This character is a great introduction, since in the original Avengers comic he was the big bad that made the team come together…

Geek Cred: Well, one would assume that appearing in a Thor movie might do it, but it’s too early to tell.

Will He Suck? I confess that I’ve never heard of him before this project. But the pictures I’ve seen (no offense, Mr. Hiddleston) make me believe that he could mimic this smarmy baddie with one gauntlet tied behind his back…

Lady Sif: Jessica Biel (rumored)

Who, Now? Thor’s love interest in Asgard – picture a hot woman in armor wielding a sword and kicking your ass. Now go hose down, spanky.

Geek Cred: Do you remember her slow motion walking into your heart as Whistler’s daughter in Blade: Trinity? What? That movie stank like old cabbage? Oh yeah…

Will She Suck? Hopefully not, but I loved Jennifer Garner a lot more before she went and wrecked up Elektra. And me likey Jessica Biel - in a way that’s almost as wildly inappropriate as how most of us still feel when we remember Carrie Fisher in that gold bikini. Aahhh - Lady Sif in a chain mail tube top…

The Walking Dead Shamble Over To AMC

In an effort to further distance itself from that pesky “American Movie Classics” moniker, AMC has announced plans to adapt Image Comics’ The Walking Dead as a live-action TV show. Frank Darabont, who has directed a pair of Stephen King prison movies (The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile), is set to helm the project. The Dead series (written by Robert Kirkman and illustrated by Charlie Adlard since issue #7) has been around since 2003, and follows a small group of survivors who are trying to survive a zombie apocalypse.

Sounds right up our alley, doesn’t it?

From the beginning, the wonderful thing about this book is that the story has never relied on the gore factor. Its black and white print run has kept the graphic imagery from being over the top, while the plot itself (aside from the obvious) has never been completely horror-driven. It’s more about how people would react given this nightmare set of circumstances, and what they might do to protect their family. At the heart of this band of refugees is the nuclear family unit of Rick Grimes (a small-town police officer from Kentucky), his wife Lori and his son Carl. A lot of the peripheral cast has been ever changing as they meet up with other pockets of survivors, and as they lose people to… well, y’know…brain chompers.

As The Walking Dead pushes past the 64th issue marker (something of a feat for a non-anthology horror book), there will be a wealth of material for the show to delve into. Hopefully AMC will treat this venture with as much respect and attention as they have with Mad Men, and we can all look forward to multiple seasons of undead action…
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In related news, NBC has just ordered a pilot script for DC Comics’ Vertigo mini-series Midnight, Mass. The original story follows a husband and wife team, Adam and Julia Kadmons, as they travel the world solving supernatural mysteries. In the book, the monster baddie had a connection to the Kadmons that was slowly revealed. What direction the project will take (if it has any life in it) is too early to tell.

That's it for now, kids. What do you think the odds are of either of these shows having legs? Better than The Middleman? (God I miss that show!) Let me know your thoughts in the comments section...

Sad Announcement From The Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch (MCA)

It’s crazy that it’s been 23 years since The Beastie Boys dropped Licensed To Ill on our turntables. It’s even harder to believe that those selfsame clownish frat boys evolved into such a positive, grounded influence in the rap community. If you had told me that the trio that used a giant inflatable penis as one of their stage props would eventually be a leading force behind the Tibetan Freedom Concerts… I never would have believed it.

But what’s really tough to wrap your head around is the news that came from The Beastie Boys camp in late July (video below).



By now, I’m sure you’ve heard the announcement that Adam Yauch (better known as MCA) has cancer in his parotid gland and the neighboring lymph node. Scary news, to be sure, but Yauch himself seems pretty optimistic about the outlook. In the video statement he explains that since they detected it fairly early, after surgery and radiation treatment he should be fine. The doctors say that this is very treatable, and he assures the viewers that it won’t affect his vocal cords. He goes on to apologize for having to cancel tour dates and push back the release of their new disc (Hot Sauce Committee, Part 1).

Seriously? Put the album and tour on hold – neither one means a thing if he isn't happy, healthy and 110%. Just focus on getting better, MCA – we’ll all be here waiting when it’s over...

An Official End To My Childhood: R.I.P. John Hughes

John Hughes, screenwriter extraordinaire and pied piper to a generation of devoted Brat Packers, died from a heart attack while walking in Manhattan yesterday. He was only 59.

Though he has been out of the spotlight since 1994, he left a legacy that touched every teen who grew up watching his movies. At the age of 14, I vividly remember risking life and limb to sneak into my first R-rated movie - The Breakfast Club. What did I get from that experience? Aside from an appreciation for his laugh-til-you-cry sense of humor? Well, as with the rest of his repertoire, I had a list of songs that I needed to hear again and a cathartic feeling that someone else understood how lousy it was to be a teenager. And John Hughes showed us that the most awkward, socially retarded kid could get the girl/boy of their dreams...or possibly create one with a computer and a Barbie doll if all else failed. Hughes understood the pubescent masses better than we could ever have dreamed.

When I went to college, I found that everyone I met had a similar feeling about this wonderful man. We huddled together en masse in tiny dorm rooms to watch Uncle Buck, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Weird Science... and the list could seemingly continue forever.

Thank you, Mr. Hughes - for creating eminently quotable characters, for making us laugh and for keeping warm sentimentality alive. Hopefully you're off on a cloud somewhere doing the Uncle Buck dance and singing "Tweedlee-Dee, Tweedlee-Dee"...